Ranked by minutes on the line
Who lasted longest
A telemarketer's job is to finish the script. Every minute here is a minute they did not. Nobody has ever made a sale.
1
Deborah TraskMarlowe & Fitch Home Comfort Bureau — a self-heating dishcloth
30m · 41%
2
Deborah QuistLanchester & Prine Domestic Registry — a quarterly audit of your staircase
30m · 18%
3
Graham TetleyPemberton & Sile Rural Innovations — under-sofa gravel drainage
27m · 34%
4
Gareth PembertonCowerby Domestic Assurance Partners — a pre-paid funeral plan for a goldfish
27m · 11%
5
Douglas MeekThistlewood Habitation Compliance Ltd — a loft ladder for a basement flat
27m · 12%
6
Roger TrimleyBarrowdean Household Adaptations — a self-closing cat flap for a house with no cat
27m · 34%
7
Deborah CrumpQuillan & Marsh Household Register — a loft hatch inspection for a loft you have never entered
27m · 24%
8
Gerald PembertonAshby Fold Domestic Curiosities — an annual subscription to a spare key you keep in a drawer
27m · 12%
9
Gareth PinnockThrumley & Fett Home Lineaments — a reversible doormat for one-way hallways
27m · 22%
10
Gareth PembertonHollisgate Dwelling Supplementaries — a gutter-brush subscription
27m · 34%
11
Gareth PembertonMarlowe & Flisk Domestic Enhancements — an airing cupboard for a lighthouse
27m · 22%
12
Nigel ThrippPellam & Groat Domestic Utilities — a warranty for a broken umbrella
27m · 22%
13
Gareth MowbrayAshcombe Heritage Provisioning Ltd. — dental cover for dragons
24m · 12%
14
Deborah QuistCalderby Domestic Improvements — a stairlift for a bungalow
24m · 11%
15
Gareth PembertonNetherby Domestic Solutions Group — a garden hose for a balcony
24m · 54%
16
Gerald AsquithPimlico Void & Threshold Administration — an annual tenancy review for a doormat you no longer own
24m · 38%
17
Marion GaskellBrindlecoombe Domestic Provisions — a monthly subscription for replacement doormat bristles
24m · 41%
18
Gareth MubbHollingdale Home Niceties Bureau — a ceramic rabbit for the airing cupboard
24m · 38%
19
Gareth PembertonLowmoor Habitation Amenities — a pre-loved second staircase for a flat that has only one floor
24m · 14%
20
Gareth PlumWellNetherby Hearth & Threshold Services — a loft ladder for a bungalow
24m · 41%
21
Gareth MuntOtterwell Domestic Assurances — insurance for a single kitchen sponge
21m · 34%
22
Geraldine VossThreshingbrook Domestic Provisions — a bedside cutlery drawer
21m · 64%
23
Graham PetleyHollinsgrove Household Sustenance — monthly loft humidity subscription
21m · 34%
24
Deborah QuistPendlebury Home Utility Bureau — a laminated rain gauge for an indoor cat
21m · 38%
25
Geraldine ThrippMossbank Habitation Niceties — a subscription for a stair gate nobody owns
21m · 38%
The record is 30 minutes, set by Deborah Trask of Marlowe & Fitch Home Comfort Bureau, who left with 41% of their will to live.