Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

35 calls · 810 minutes wasted

The call log

Every call the line has ever made, newest first. Nothing was sold in any of them.

Gerald Pemberthy no sale, no count, parrot implicated 21 min · 34%
Wrentlow & Birk Household Provisions — a stair-counting service

“Client offered tea, Brasso and a second opinion from Mavis; none of it was on the ledger.”
Gareth Pemberton no sale, no roofline, parrot cleared 27 min · 34%
Hollisgate Dwelling Supplementaries — a gutter-brush subscription

“Caller confirmed shed is brown and therefore out of scope; prospect offered tea; subscription remains unbought.”
Graham Petley no upstairs, no sale, pear tree discussed 21 min · 12%
Barrowden Haus Ancillary Provisions — a loft ladder for a bungalow

“Caller offered a free survey for a loft that does not exist; customer offered tea instead.”
Gareth Pinnock survey booked, mat unrequired, parrot unavailable for comment 27 min · 22%
Thrumley & Fett Home Lineaments — a reversible doormat for one-way hallways

“Caller asked whether the mat needed feeding; customer offered to host Christmas mid-survey.”
Nigel Thripp no sale, no objection, no exit 27 min · 22%
Pellam & Groat Domestic Utilities — a warranty for a broken umbrella

“Caller offered a certificate that cannot be redeemed; customer enquired after its colour and mentioned a parrot.”
Gareth Pemberton no sale, no drip, no exit 18 min · 41%
Ollerton & Cress Domestic Arrangements — a rain gauge for a kitchen ceiling

“Caller invited the prospect to look at his ceiling; prospect confirmed it was ceiling, and beige already.”
Gerald Pemberton no sale; drawer, string and parrot all consulted 27 min · 12%
Ashby Fold Domestic Curiosities — an annual subscription to a spare key you keep in a drawer

“Caller offered monthly fondling, clarified the key never leaves the drawer, and was asked whether the certificate comes in green.”
Gerald Pemberton recount scheduled for gravel that has not yet been counted once 18 min · 41%
Cranbourne & Slate Domestic Oversight — bi-monthly gravel audit

“Caller accepted a second visit to the same gravel; gravel's own calendar noted, pencil on string pending.”
Gareth Pemberton no stock, no stairs, no second floor 24 min · 14%
Lowmoor Habitation Amenities — a pre-loved second staircase for a flat that has only one floor

“Caller confirmed the product does not exist; customer asked whether it came in green and offered the caller a cup of tea.”
Deborah Finch no sale, no objection, no exit 15 min · 12%
Winterbourne Threshold & Interior Registration — a subscription doorframe humidity audit

“Caller offered tea mid-audit; prospect's parrot has views on the front mat; callback promised, firm name already lost.”
Gareth PlumWell no loft, no ladder, no decision 24 min · 41%
Netherby Hearth & Threshold Services — a loft ladder for a bungalow

“Caller offered a ladder for a bungalow without a loft; customer asked whether it required feeding and whether it came in green.”
Deborah Crump unverified hatch, unverified interest, call closed 27 min · 24%
Quillan & Marsh Household Register — a loft hatch inspection for a loft you have never entered

“Caller offered a two-year inspection cycle for a loft nobody opens; customer asked if the sticker came in green and warned us about the road.”
Geraldine Thripp no sale, no gate, no stairwell registered 21 min · 38%
Mossbank Habitation Niceties — a subscription for a stair gate nobody owns

“Caller went off-script to concede she had never before imagined two non-existent gates being friends; lead remains under consideration at neighbour's steeper stairwell.”
Gareth Pemberton no sale, no surveyor, parrot pending 27 min · 22%
Marlowe & Flisk Domestic Enhancements — an airing cupboard for a lighthouse

“Caller closed on a surveyor; customer closed on whether the surveyor brings his own tea.”
Gareth Mubb no sale, rabbit pending reflection, kettle exonerated 24 min · 38%
Hollingdale Home Niceties Bureau — a ceramic rabbit for the airing cupboard

“Caller requested the customer merely think about the rabbit; customer agreed to think about it over a cup of tea and asked what it eats.”
Marion Gaskell no sale, cancellation entitlement located but not excavated 24 min · 41%
Brindlecoombe Domestic Provisions — a monthly subscription for replacement doormat bristles

“Caller offered tea mid-pitch; prospect countered with a parrot's opinion of the crate, and the terms remain buried alongside the reading glasses.”
Roger Trimley no sale, no cat, four beiges discussed 27 min · 34%
Barrowdean Household Adaptations — a self-closing cat flap for a house with no cat

“Caller answered the no-cat requirement with relief, then asked whether the flap would want feeding.”
Douglas Meek pencilled in, not in ink, not in a loft 27 min · 12%
Thistlewood Habitation Compliance Ltd — a loft ladder for a basement flat

“Caller confirmed property has no loft, no basement and a leaking roof; proceeded to book a survey for a ladder to a ceiling that isn't there.”
Gerald Asquith no sale, no mat, file open indefinitely 24 min · 38%
Pimlico Void & Threshold Administration — an annual tenancy review for a doormat you no longer own

“Caller offered a twelve-month silence certificate; customer asked if it came in green, and the file was opened a second time.”
Gerald Pratt no sale, no objection, parrot consulted 15 min · 12%
Oakhurst Household Planning Bureau — a subscription for rotating your oven shelves

“Caller asked whether the plan came in green; the plan does not come in green, and the shelves have to come out anyway.”
Deborah Quist mild objection, bribe logged, survey pencilled, surveyor lost 21 min · 38%
Pendlebury Home Utility Bureau — a laminated rain gauge for an indoor cat

“Caller asked whether the sleeve needed feeding; no sale, but the parrot's colour preferences are now on file.”
Gareth Pemberton no fish, no window, direct debit pending on imaginary terms 27 min · 11%
Cowerby Domestic Assurance Partners — a pre-paid funeral plan for a goldfish

“Caller lost his place in the list; customer offered to think about it and asked which fish, since the last one was some years ago.”
Deborah Quist no sale, no stairs confirmed twice, kettle intervention 30 min · 18%
Lanchester & Prine Domestic Registry — a quarterly audit of your staircase

“Caller offered tea mid-close; prospect still unsure whether he has eleven steps or thirteen, and the parrot is not available for comment.”
Douglas Peckham no sale, provisional Thursday, biscuit contingent 18 min · 22%
Wrentall Home & Hearth Advisory — an annual lint audit for tumble dryers

“Caller offered certificate, brush and free follow-up; prospect counter-offered tea, chocolate biscuits and a green preference.”
Gareth Pemberton no sale, installer unbooked, parrot consulted 24 min · 54%
Netherby Domestic Solutions Group — a garden hose for a balcony

“Caller described a hose to a man on the side with the bins; customer asked whether it would mind the parrot and put the phone down for the kettle.”
Deborah Quist no staircase, no sale, kettle considered 24 min · 11%
Calderby Domestic Improvements — a stairlift for a bungalow

“Caller offered a discounted upstairs-only model to a man with no upstairs; client offered her a cup of tea and she stayed on the line.”
Deborah Pettigrew no sale, free assessment unclaimed, leaflet indistinguishable 18 min · 34%
Ferngrove Household Provisions — trickle-charge doorbell subscription

“Caller offered a remote top-up for a bell that only rings after the second ring; customer asked whether the gate would need to be told.”
Graham Petley no sale, hatch measured in Grahams, parrot cited 21 min · 34%
Hollinsgrove Household Sustenance — monthly loft humidity subscription

“Caller disclosed the fee is fictional and the card is unread; prospect asked whether it would need feeding.”
Graham Ottley no sale, no objection, kettle on 18 min · 34%
Brackenmoor Domestic Continuity Group — annual roof-tile rotation service

“Caller offered an inspection requiring no roof; customer offered tea instead and mentioned a horse called Norman.”
Geraldine Voss no sale, kettle offered, step flagged 21 min · 64%
Threshingbrook Domestic Provisions — a bedside cutlery drawer

“Caller requested the customer think about it; customer is thinking about Christmas instead.”
Deborah Trask appointment secured, sample non-functional, parrot consulted 30 min · 41%
Marlowe & Fitch Home Comfort Bureau — a self-heating dishcloth

“Caller offered a cardboard representation of warmth; customer asked whether the cardboard one manages without sun.”
Gareth Lomax no sale, gravel reclassified as vulnerable, parrot consulted 21 min · 34%
Windlebrook Household Enhancements — a lidded gravel retainer

“Caller offered a free visit with a small charge; householder asked whether the gravel was vulnerable to weather or to the parrot.”
Gareth Munt sponge damp, rider declined by colour, review held in sink 21 min · 34%
Otterwell Domestic Assurances — insurance for a single kitchen sponge

“Caller offered a cup of tea mid-pitch; telemarketer cited being on the phone as the obstacle.”
Gareth Mowbray quote offered, tea counter-offered, no decision 24 min · 12%
Ashcombe Heritage Provisioning Ltd. — dental cover for dragons

“Caller sought a quote; customer sought a cup of tea and clarification on which volcano.”
Graham Tetley no sale, no exit, kettle pending 27 min · 34%
Pemberton & Sile Rural Innovations — under-sofa gravel drainage

“Caller offered a free damp assessment nobody requested; customer offered tea nobody is coming for.”