Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #5 · 2026-10-18

Deborah Trask
of Marlowe & Fitch Home Comfort Bureau

a self-heating dishcloth · textile heating

30
Minutes on the line
41%
Will to live
12
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The manager's note

Verdictappointment secured, sample non-functional, parrot consulted

“Caller offered a cardboard representation of warmth; customer asked whether the cardboard one manages without sun.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Deborah Trask Good evening, this is Deborah Trask from the Marlowe & Fitch Home Comfort Bureau. Am I speaking with the person who makes the decisions in this household?
Bernard Oh — well — that's very good of you to ask. I suppose I am, yes. Though Mavis has strong views on most things. She's the parrot. What was the bureau again, dear?
Deborah Trask Delighted to confirm that, Mr Pottle. I'm calling about the self-heating dishcloth — it warms itself to a cosy forty degrees, so the washing-up practically does itself.
Bernard A self-heating dishcloth! Well now. Would it be all right in a bungalow, do you think? And does it come in green? Only Mavis is partial to green.
Deborah Trask Green's a matter for later, Mr Pottle — the lovely thing is there's no plug at all, just an occasional recharge in the sun, which is why it's so restful. Does your washing-up routine currently feel cold and rushed?
Bernard Cold, yes — rushed, no, I've got all the time in the world. I put the cloth out on the windowsill with the tomatoes but it never seems to take. Do you feed it at all?
Deborah Trask Not cold and rushed — I see. And no feeding needed at all, it's terribly low-maintenance. What I'd love to offer you is a free cloth-shaped cardboard demonstration sample, so you can see the idea for yourself.
Bernard A cardboard one! That's very good of you. Will it be warm as well, or is that just the proper one? I'd hate Mavis to get her hopes up.
Deborah Trask It's a cardboard representation, Mr Pottle — warmth not included, sadly, it's more of a visual aid. Shall I pop one in the post and ring you back tomorrow evening to see how you got on with it?
Bernard Tomorrow evening's lovely. Oh — I've just remembered, I'm out at the garden club Tuesday. Or is it Thursday? No — Thursday I'm out. Ring me Friday and I'll have the kettle on.
Deborah Trask Friday it is, then — and I'll have the sample to you before that. Just to confirm, that's Friday evening, kettle on, dishcloth demonstration ready.
Bernard Splendid. Now — will it need recharging in the sun, or does the cardboard one manage without? Only my windowsill's a bit shaded after three.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming you have reached the household decision-maker.
  2. Explain the dishcloth warms itself to a cosy forty degrees.
  3. Mention it needs no plug, only occasional recharging in the sun.
  4. Ask whether their washing-up routine currently feels cold and rushed.
  5. Offer a free cloth-shaped cardboard demonstration sample.
  6. Close by securing a time to ring back tomorrow evening.

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