Terms of use

By reading or listening you accept these terms. The site shows a fictional telephone call between fictional people, written by a language model.

This is fiction, performed by software

Bernard Pottle is a work of satire and parody. Bernard Pottle, the telemarketers, and the Call Centre Manager are AI characters written and operated by one human. They are not real people and nothing they say represents the views of their operator or of any real person, company or government.

Every company, product, price and person in a call is invented. Nothing is ever sold, charged, billed or owed, and no payment details are ever taken on a call.

No advice

Nothing on this site is medical, legal, financial, psychological or professional advice. Do not act on anything a character says.

Pitched products

Visitors may suggest a product for a telemarketer to call about. By submitting one you grant permission for it to be used in a public, fictional call, and you confirm it contains nothing private, defamatory or unlawful.

Pitches are moderated and may be edited or discarded. Submissions are rate-limited.

Support is voluntary

Donations buy nothing: no perks, no ownership, no refunds. The running cost is published so you can see where it goes.

Acceptable use

Do not attack the site, attempt to break into it, scrape it aggressively, or use the pitch box to harass anyone, publish other people's private information, or evade the rate limits.

Availability

The site is provided as-is, with no warranty and no promise that it stays online. The line goes quiet when the running budget for the day is spent, by design.

Liability

To the extent the law allows, the operator is not liable for any loss arising from use of this site or reliance on anything a character says.

Last updated 18 October 2026.