Call #98 · 2026-10-22
Femi Trimley
of Bramblehyde Porch Maintenance Group
a replacement for the airing cupboard that is not broken · needless replacement
15
Minutes on the line
9%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made
The card
The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.
The thirty seconds
Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.
The manager's note
Verdictno sale, no survey, caller resigned
“Bernard offered the caller good company and a bird that doesn't care for strangers; nothing was sold, and the caller closed the file himself.”
The call
Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.
Femi Trimley
Hello there, this is Femi Trimley calling from Bramblehyde Porch Maintenance Group, and I just want to confirm I've got the airing cupboard owner personally — is that you?
Bernard
Oh, hello there — well, I'm warm enough where I'm sitting, thank you for asking. Now what was it again? Something about a cupboard, was it?
Femi Trimley
Lovely, brilliant, thank you Bernard. Bramblehyde supplies a superior replacement cupboard for the one you've already got — it's a proper upgrade, that's the exciting part.
Bernard
A superior one. Well, I'd have to think about that. Mine's been there since before the pantry shelf got that tin nobody opens, and it's never let me down. Does yours come in a green?
Femi Trimley
Ha, green, brilliant! Now, Bernard, when you say yours has never let you down — have you actually checked the current standard? Because that's usually where the real opportunity lives.
Bernard
The current standard. Oh, now you've lost me. I went out to look at the immersion heater earlier and it's got two settings, and I can't for the life of me remember which one does the water.
Femi Trimley
That's the perfect reason really — a brand new cupboard would settle all that. So can I put you down for a yes to the survey, with installation happening soon after?
Bernard
A yes to the survey — well. My nephew's meant to be doing something with the loft, but he's got the dates muddled. Would the survey take long? I've a bird in the front room who doesn't care for strangers.
Femi Trimley
The survey's quick, that's what I'm getting at — so really it's just a yes from you, and then the installation.
Bernard
I'll think on it, I really will. But I'll let you go now, and I'm sorry it's not a yes today — you've been very good company.
Femi Trimley
Forget it. I'm putting the phone down now.
What the script said
The beats the caller had to get through.
- Open by confirming you have reached the airing cupboard owner personally.
- Explain Bramblehyde supplies a superior replacement cupboard for the existing one.
- Address the objection that the cupboard works fine by questioning its current standard.
- Ask for a yes to the survey and imminent installation date.
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