Call #96 · 2026-10-22
Aisling Lashley
of Elverton Cross Threshold Bureau
an upgrade to a drain you did not know you had · unknown upgrade
15
Minutes on the line
22%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made
The card
The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.
The thirty seconds
Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.
The manager's note
Verdictno sale, no drain, no fence match
“Bernard asked whether the drain came in green to match the fence; caller confirmed colour was not on her sheet and closed the file by post.”
The call
Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.
Aisling Lashley
Oh, hello — sorry to bother you, I'm Aisling Lashley from the Elverton Cross Threshold Bureau. I'm ringing about a drain on your boundary, if that's all right?
Bernard
Well, hello there, that's very good of you to ring. Now — is that the front door or the back door you're at? Only I'd have to come round and let you in, and I've got my shoes off.
Aisling Lashley
No, no, I'm not at your door at all — sorry, that's my fault for not saying. It's just a call, and the reason I'm ringing is the Bureau's logged an unregistered drain on your boundary, which I know sounds odd but it's on our list.
Bernard
Oh I see, on the list. Dreadful business, lists. Would that be near the fence panel, do you think? The dog leans on it something shocking, so if there's a drain under there I'm not surprised nobody's written it down.
Aisling Lashley
That could well be it, near the fence, I wouldn't know the exact spot, sorry. But the great news is the upgrade needs no digging — no digging at all, so nothing to worry about with the dog or anything.
Bernard
No digging at all, well that's a relief. Though the dog's not much of a digger, it's more the leaning. And it comes in green, does it? The drain? I only ask because the fence is green and it'd be nice if they matched.
Aisling Lashley
Honestly I don't know about colours, that's not on my sheet, sorry. What I do need is for you to authorise the upgrade before the drain gets officially noted, if you wouldn't mind.
Bernard
Authorise, yes. Well, I'd have to think about it, that's the thing. Now what was it again that needs the noting — the drain or the fence? I've had a lot on this week and it's gone straight out of my head.
Aisling Lashley
The drain — the drain gets noted, not the fence, sorry. It's just that I need your authorisation before that happens, and I'll be quick, it's only a yes.
Bernard
Well, it's very good of you to be quick about it. You'll think I'm slow, but I've just been out at the fence to have a look and there's nothing there but the dog's dinner bowl. Sorry to hear you've had no luck with it — I was ever so interested. You mind how you go now.
Aisling Lashley
I'll send it in the post instead. Save us both the trouble. Goodbye.
What the script said
The beats the caller had to get through.
- Open by confirming you've reached the householder at the address.
- Explain the Bureau has logged an unregistered drain on their boundary.
- Reassure that the upgrade needs no digging, no digging at all.
- Ask them to authorise the upgrade before the drain is officially noted.
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