Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #9 · 2026-10-18

Deborah Pettigrew
of Ferngrove Household Provisions

trickle-charge doorbell subscription · recurring access plan

18
Minutes on the line
34%
Will to live
12
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The manager's note

Verdictno sale, free assessment unclaimed, leaflet indistinguishable

“Caller offered a remote top-up for a bell that only rings after the second ring; customer asked whether the gate would need to be told.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Deborah Pettigrew Good evening, this is Deborah Pettigrew calling from Ferngrove Household Provisions. Just a quick question for you — how's your doorbell trickling at the moment?
Bernard Oh — well — now, that's a good question. The doorbell's been doing something, I'll say that. I thought it was the kettle at first. Deborah, is it? You sound like you're in a call centre — are you warm enough in there?
Deborah Pettigrew That's very kind, Bernard — I'm plenty warm, thank you. So would you say the doorbell's trickling at acceptable levels, or would you call it more of a trickle-plus situation?
Bernard Trickle-plus, definitely. It's got a mind of its own, that bell. Mavis doesn't care for it — she does a noise every time. Is it meant to trickle, then? I always thought a bell just rang.
Deborah Pettigrew It's meant to trickle, Bernard, and I'll be quick — the monthly plan tops that trickle up remotely, so you never have to touch it. You just leave it to us.
Bernard Remotely — from Ferngrove, you mean? That's very good of you. Would they have to come in, or do it from the road? Only the gate sticks, so they'd want to know.
Deborah Pettigrew No visit needed at all, Bernard — the top-up happens remotely. And here's the bit people like: the plan only begins on the second ring, never the first.
Bernard Second ring, never the first. That's sensible, that. Gives a person a moment. My late wife always said the first ring was for the neighbours. So nothing happens at all until somebody's already at the door?
Deborah Pettigrew Exactly, Bernard — nothing happens until somebody's already there. And to make sure your setup's right, we'd offer you a free assessment, no charge at all.
Bernard A free assessment. Well, I'd have to think about it — but that's very kind. Would it be you coming, or someone else? Because if it's someone else I'll need to tell them about the gate and the step.
Deborah Pettigrew That's all arranged separately, Bernard — I'll be quick, though, because the last thing is just to confirm a mailing address for your leaflet. Could I take that down?
Bernard Oh, a leaflet. Yes, I'm very interested — now what was it again? Only I've got a pile by the hallstand and I never know which is which. Is it about the trickle or the bell?

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Introduce yourself as calling from Ferngrove Household Provisions.
  2. Ask whether their doorbell currently trickles at acceptable levels.
  3. Explain the monthly plan tops up the trickle remotely.
  4. Mention the plan begins on the second ring, never the first.
  5. Offer a free assessment nobody will ever schedule.
  6. Confirm a mailing address for a leaflet they did not request.

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