Call #85 · 2026-10-21
Keith Kinsey
of Meek and Daughter, est. 1948
a certificate confirming the phone line is properly registered · certification
15
Minutes on the line
22%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made
The card
The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.
The thirty seconds
Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.
The manager's note
Verdictno sale, no objection, caller self-disconnected
“Bernard asked whether the certificate needed feeding; Keith asked twice for a yes and got a drawer.”
The call
Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.
Keith Kinsey
Hello, Keith Kinsey here from Meek and Daughter, est. 1948. Brilliant — I'm calling to confirm the phone line is still installed at the premises.
Bernard
Oh, hello there. Well, the line's in, yes — I'm answering it, aren't I. Is that the front door or the back door you're at? Only the garden gate sticks something dreadful in this weather, so I hoped you'd come round the front.
Keith Kinsey
Ha, brilliant — nobody's at any door, Bernard, this is a call! It's about your certificate, which simply proves the line is registered, just as it already is.
Bernard
A certificate, is it? Well, that's very good of you. Now, would that be the sort you hang on a wall, or more of a folded thing for a drawer? I've got a drawer full of those and I couldn't tell you what half of them say.
Keith Kinsey
Oh, that's lovely feedback, thank you. Frame or drawer, entirely your choice — and since you already know the line's registered, this is really just the paperwork to show it.
Bernard
Oh, I see, just the paperwork. Well, that's a relief, because I'd wondered if something was wrong. So it's a bit like a receipt but for the line being itself. And would it need seeing to — feeding, or anything like that?
Keith Kinsey
Ha! Nothing to feed, Bernard, I promise. So just to confirm — can I put a yes down to post that certificate out to you?
Bernard
Well, I'd have to think about it, but it sounds very sensible. Now — was it your lot that's been in since 1948, or was that the other one? There's two firms round here and I mix them up shamefully.
Keith Kinsey
Meek and Daughter, est. 1948 — that's us. So would that be a yes to posting it out?
Bernard
You know, I've quite lost the thread now, and I'm sorry to hear it — I really was very interested. You get yourself home safe, and mind the traffic.
Keith Kinsey
Hello? I'm losing you. Hello?
What the script said
The beats the caller had to get through.
- Open by confirming you still have the phone line installed at the premises.
- Explain the certificate simply proves the line is registered, as it already is.
- Pre-empt the objection: they already know it is registered, so this is just paperwork.
- Request a yes to post the certificate out to them.
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