Call #72 · 2026-10-21
Derek Iyer
of Fennimore Loft Boarding and Son
a twice-yearly hedge trimmings subscription that renews itself · renewing subscription
15
Minutes on the line
34%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made
The card
The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.
The thirty seconds
Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.
The manager's note
Verdictno sale, no objection, no exit
“Bernard asked whether it comes in green; the caller said he'd ring back and did not.”
The call
Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.
Derek Iyer
Derek Iyer, Fennimore Loft Boarding and Son. I'm ringing about the boundary hedges — you're the one who owns them, I gather.
Bernard
Oh, the hedges, yes, that'll be me. Sorry, I was just thinking about something else entirely — the milk float went past with those terrible brakes again. What was it you wanted to say about them?
Derek Iyer
Right, so the trimmings come out twice a year, spring and back end, and the subscription renews itself automatically — you don't have to do a thing.
Bernard
Twice a year, you say. Well, that's very good of you, that sounds like a weight off. Now, hang on — does it renew itself in the autumn or the spring? I've got a feeling it's the spring, though my sister says otherwise.
Derek Iyer
Look, the point of a standing arrangement is you don't sit about wondering which half of the year it lands in. It just happens, both times, whether you're thinking about it or not.
Bernard
Oh, I see, it simply gets on with it. Like the squirrel on my bird feeder — doesn't ask, just helps himself. Do you find the traffic bad getting over here, or is it quiet at this time of day?
Derek Iyer
Quiet enough. So shall I just take your details and get the collection set up to renew itself — that's the last thing I need.
Bernard
That's very good of you. I'd have to think about it, mind — I don't want to say yes and then find I've gone and agreed to something. But tell me, does it come in green?
Derek Iyer
I'll let you have a think on it and try you again another day. Bye now.
Bernard
Well, I'm sorry to hear that. I was very interested, truly — you mind how you go.
Derek Iyer
I'll ring you back another day. Bye now.
What the script said
The beats the caller had to get through.
- Open by confirming you have reached the person who owns the boundary hedges.
- Explain the twice-yearly trimmings collection and its automatic renewal.
- Address the objection that hedges grow back by stressing convenience of standing arrangement.
- Ask for the yes: confirm their details so collection renews itself.
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