Call #68 · 2026-10-21
Mei Wainwright
of Wainwright, Ferrier and Prosser Draincare Partnership
a twice-yearly porch gravel subscription that renews itself · renewing subscription
15
Minutes on the line
11%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made
The card
The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.
The thirty seconds
Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.
The manager's note
Verdictno sale, caller withdrew to post, gravel undelivered
“Bernard asked the same question four times and got the same answer four times; the caller left before the fifth.”
The call
Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.
Mei Wainwright
Mei Wainwright, Wainwright, Ferrier and Prosser Draincare. Just confirming I've got the registered premises before I say anything else.
Bernard
Well, you've got the house, if that's what you mean, though I don't know about registered — nobody's registered anything here except the dog, and that was years ago. Are you selling, or asking? Because if it's asking, I've got all afternoon.
Mei Wainwright
Selling, technically. Twice a year you get a fresh porch gravel refresh, and it renews itself after that — no forms, no fuss, it just keeps coming.
Bernard
Oh, a refresh, that's a nice word for it. And does it need looking after at all, or does it just get on with it by itself?
Mei Wainwright
It gets on with it by itself, that's the beauty of the rolling renewal. Look, I know what you're going to say — the porch has gravel on it already, and nobody asked.
Bernard
Well, that's true, there's gravel enough out there that I haven't asked about in years. It's the notices pinned in the porch I'd worry about — gravel would have them over. Does it do that?
Mei Wainwright
Notices, right, so the bullet point for that is — hold on. I'll be quick. The gravel is fine and the notices are fine and the renewal just keeps the whole thing simple, so shall I put you down for the first delivery and the rolling part after it?
Bernard
That's very good of you, and I'd nearly say yes — but hold on, before I do, is this a one-off or does it keep coming back? I want to be sure I've got that right.
Mei Wainwright
Twice a year, and it carries on automatically, that's the whole point of it. So that's a yes on the first one and the recurring part after, yes?
Bernard
Twice a year, right, I've got that. And what's the year? Two deliveries in it, you said — I'm just making sure I'm not signing for four.
Mei Wainwright
I'll send it in the post instead. Save us both the trouble. Goodbye.
What the script said
The beats the caller had to get through.
- Open by confirming you have reached the draincare partnership's registered premises.
- Explain the twice-yearly porch gravel refresh and its automatic renewal convenience.
- Address the obvious objection that the porch already has gravel and nobody asked.
- Ask for the yes on the first delivery and the rolling renewal thereafter.
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