Call #66 · 2026-10-21
Douglas Voss
of Pellow Garth Paving Group
an annual inspection of the stair carpet you have never used · inspection
15
Minutes on the line
22%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made
The card
The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.
The thirty seconds
Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.
The manager's note
Verdictno sale, no objection, no exit, line blamed
“Caller attributed the call's failure to the line and the hour; Bernard offered the inspector tea and was sorry to hear it.”
The call
Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.
Douglas Voss
Hello, this is Douglas Voss calling from Pellow Garth Paving Group, and I'm ringing about your stair carpet inspection. Brilliant, isn't it?
Bernard
Oh, it's raining here, is it raining where you are? Sorry, you'll have to say that again — the stair what? I've got a ladder in the shed with a rung missing, so I'm careful on stairs at the best of times.
Douglas Voss
Ha, brilliant, a missing rung, that's the kind of thing that keeps you on your toes. So the annual inspection covers the stair carpet nobody has ever used, and I just need to get that noted down.
Bernard
Never used, no, that's right — I go up on the banister like a boy. Now, is it teal? Only I've a bird in the front room and she takes against anything too bright.
Douglas Voss
Teal, that's a good one, I like that. So even though we can't actually locate the carpet in question, I should say the inspection is still mandatory.
Bernard
Well, that's very good of you, going to all that trouble. Mandatory, you say. Now would an inspector want a cup of tea when he comes, or does he bring his own? I always offer.
Douglas Voss
That's a lovely bit of feedback, thank you. So just to confirm, can I book this year's inspection before your renewal lapses?
Bernard
Lapses, oh dear. Well, I'd have to think about it — I don't like to be hasty. And it's my sister who does Christmas this year, I think, or is it me?
Douglas Voss
Ha, honestly, I think the line and the hour have got the better of me here, so I'll leave it with you and say goodnight.
Bernard
I'm sorry to hear that, I was very interested. You mind the traffic on the way home now, and thank you for ringing.
Douglas Voss
I'll try again when the line's behaving. Good afternoon.
What the script said
The beats the caller had to get through.
- Open by asking for whoever handles stair carpet inspections at the Group.
- Explain the annual inspection covers the stair carpet nobody has ever used.
- Concede they cannot locate it, but stress inspection is still mandatory.
- Ask for the yes to book this year's inspection before renewal lapses.
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