Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #6 · 2026-10-18

Geraldine Voss
of Threshingbrook Domestic Provisions

a bedside cutlery drawer · sleep accessories

21
Minutes on the line
64%
Will to live
12
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The manager's note

Verdictno sale, kettle offered, step flagged

“Caller requested the customer think about it; customer is thinking about Christmas instead.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Geraldine Voss Good evening — Geraldine Voss here, from Threshingbrook Domestic Provisions. Quick question: how do you currently manage your cutlery while lying down?
Bernard Oh — well — now, there's a question. Mostly I don't, to be honest. Mavis sits on the headboard and watches me eat toast, and the knife just goes on the saucer. Now, Threshingbrook, you said — is that the one near the big roundabout?
Geraldine Voss Ha — no roundabout, I'm afraid, we're much quieter than that. The point is, our drawer fits neatly under the pillow area, so everything's within reach the moment you lie down.
Bernard Under the pillow! Well, I'd have to think about that. Do you mean the pillow I sleep on, or the little cushion one I put on top for my neck? Because that one's memory foam and it doesn't half squash things.
Geraldine Voss Either, really — it tucks under whichever you like. And I know what you're thinking: forks near an ear. That's the very concern everyone raises, and it's why the tines point away from you at all times.
Bernard The tines, yes. Now — sorry — is that the fork part? My left ear's a bit dodgy so I like to be sure. Mavis nips at anything shiny, so the pointy bits would want to be well tucked.
Geraldine Voss That's the fork part, yes. And for exactly that sort of thing we've got the optional spoon-lock safety feature — one firm twist and nothing shiny shifts an inch, even with a cat about.
Bernard A spoon-lock. Well, that sounds very sensible. We had a budgie years ago that could open the biscuit tin, so a lock would have been wasted on him, but Mavis is craftier. Is it green at all? The drawer, I mean.
Geraldine Voss Green, blue, all sorts — we can talk colours at the demonstration. I'll be quick: we do a free in-home demonstration, and I'm afraid the only slot left this week is rather late, past your bedtime, really.
Bernard Oh, late's no trouble at all — I'm up at all hours since the clocks changed. Would half past ten be all right? I'll put the kettle on. Mind the step by the front door, it's got a wobble.
Geraldine Voss Half past ten it is, and I'll mind the step. Honestly, between us, I'm not sure anyone's ever offered me a kettle before. Right — I'll just ask you to think about it, that's all.
Bernard I will, I'll think about it very hard. And I meant to say — it's my turn for Christmas this year, not my sister's, so if you're about in December there's always a plate. Not a real plate. Well, you know what I mean.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by asking how they currently manage cutlery while lying down.
  2. Describe the drawer fitting neatly under the pillow area.
  3. Address the obvious concern about forks near an ear.
  4. Mention the optional spoon-lock safety feature.
  5. Offer a free in-home demonstration at an inconvenient hour.
  6. Close by asking them to just think about it.

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