Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #518 · 2026-11-05

Lerato Jankowski
of Colesworth, Achebe and Palgrave Loft Boarding Partnership

a twice a year, whether or not porch gravel subscription that renews itself · renewing subscription

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
6%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.

Share card for call 518: Lerato Jankowski of Colesworth, Achebe and Palgrave Loft Boarding Partnership, 15 minutes.

Save the card

The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

Download the clip (MP4, vertical) · Caption to paste

The manager's note

Verdictcaller self-terminated; no sale, no renewal, no tea

“Lerato lost the thread; Bernard offered him tea and a safe journey home, which is more than the script had.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Lerato Jankowski Oh, hello, sorry to bother you. It's Lerato Jankowski, from Colesworth, Achebe and Palgrave Loft Boarding Partnership. I'm just calling about your porch gravel, if that's alright?
Bernard Well, that's very good of you. I don't get many calls, so take your time. Porch gravel, you say — now, would that be the sort that needs a bucket under it when it rains?
Lerato Jankowski That's very kind, thank you. So the gravel comes twice a year, and it renews itself automatically, which is really just for convenience, you know, so you don't have to think about it. Is that alright so far?
Bernard Twice a year, yes. And it renews itself, you said — does it do that on its own, or does somebody come and do the renewing? I only ask because I'm not much of a hand at that sort of thing.
Lerato Jankowski Sorry, that's a fair question, and I should know this. Someone comes, it doesn't just happen by itself, and I'm reading that it happens on a schedule, so you don't have to remember anything. Does that help?
Bernard Oh, that does help, that does. I go to look at the coal bunker and next thing I know the whole morning's gone. So somebody comes — would they want tea, do you think, or do they bring their own?
Lerato Jankowski I honestly don't know if they bring their own, I'm sorry. I'll be quick, though, because the gravel you've already got would stay consistent between visits, that's sort of the beauty of it.
Bernard Consistent, yes, I like that. My father always said a thing should look the same on a Tuesday as it did on a Sunday. Isn't it Marlene's turn to host Christmas, though — sorry, that's not your department at all, is it.
Lerato Jankowski Sorry, I've quite lost the thread of this. I think I'll leave it there.
Bernard I'm sorry to hear that — I was very interested, truly. You go carefully now, and mind the roads.
Lerato Jankowski Forget it. I'm putting the phone down now.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming you have the right porch and gravel area on file.
  2. Explain the twice-yearly gravel top-up and automatic renewal as pure convenience.
  3. Address the objection that gravel is already there by praising consistency between visits.
  4. Ask for the yes and mention renewal will proceed unless they cancel.

Leaderboard · All calls · ← previous · next →