Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #508 · 2026-11-04

Bronwen Trask
of The Trust for Domestic Silence

a annual fence review that arrives unbidden · unbidden service

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
34%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 508: Bronwen Trask of The Trust for Domestic Silence, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no objection, wasp unaddressed

“Bernard asked which fence and offered the caller a cup of tea; the caller handed him to a colleague and left the wasp in the window.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Bronwen Trask Hello, sorry to bother you, I'm Bronwen from The Trust for Domestic Silence — I'm just calling about the annual fence review, if that's all right?
Bernard The front door or the back? Only I've got a wasp in the kitchen window and I don't want to let it out on you.
Bronwen Trask Right, yes — the front, I think. Sorry, that's not in the script actually. The annual fence review just conducts itself, quietly, at no notice.
Bernard Conducts itself, does it? Well, that's very good of it. And it doesn't need me standing about, or a cup of tea put out for it?
Bronwen Trask Sorry, no tea needed — and I know nobody asked for this, that's rather the point. Unbidden is the courtesy, apparently.
Bernard That's a nice sort of word, that. Reminds me of a birthday nobody planned and it turned up regardless. Now, which address have you got written down for me?
Bronwen Trask Sorry, I should have asked for a yes first — and now I've muddled the order. Can I just confirm you're happy to keep the appointment that's already in your name?
Bernard Oh, I'd have to think about it, but yes, I'm very interested — now what was it coming to look at again? The fence or the gate?
Bronwen Trask The fence. It's the fence. Sorry, my colleague will have to deal with this one — I've rather made a mess of the order.
Bernard Well, I'm sorry to hear that, I really am. I was very interested indeed, so I'll let you go — mind the traffic on the way home.
Bronwen Trask I'll get someone else to ring you. Goodbye.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming the address and noting you are already on the schedule.
  2. Explain the annual fence review conducts itself quietly and at no notice.
  3. Address the objection that nobody requested this: unbidden is the courtesy.
  4. Ask for a yes to keep the appointment already made in their name.

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