Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #505 · 2026-11-04

Siobhan Sithole
of Cinderby Group Holdings

a membership with no newsletters and no benefits · membership

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
6%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 505: Siobhan Sithole of Cinderby Group Holdings, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no objection, caller lost place and then the line

“Bernard asked twice what he would be a member of; the caller checked his laminated sheet and conceded it was going nowhere, then reported losing a signal Bernard never threatened.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Siobhan Sithole Hello, Bernard. Siobhan Sithole, Cinderby Group Holdings. It's about membership — I have the details in front of me.
Bernard Oh, hello Siobhan, lovely to hear from you. Have you had your lunch, though? Because I haven't, and I'm not doing anything important, so I can wait while you have yours.
Siobhan Sithole That's kind, but I've eaten, thank you. The membership confers nothing at all — no newsletters, no benefits, purely prestige, and that's per policy eleven.
Bernard Per policy eleven, right you are. Now — nothing at all, you said? That's very restful, that. Is it a card, or do they send a little badge? Only I've nowhere to pin a badge, but I'd like to know.
Siobhan Sithole Nothing is included, Bernard, and that's rather the point — exclusivity over substance, per policy twelve. Shall I confirm your membership at the prestige rate today?
Bernard Well, I'd have to think about it — hang on, the drain by the gate is gurgling again. Can you hear that? No, of course you can't. Go on, tell me the rate again, slowly.
Siobhan Sithole Shall I put your membership through for today, Bernard? I'll stay on the line while you decide.
Bernard That's very good of you to stay. Well, now, I'm very interested — I am — but could you say what I'd actually be a member of? I've lost the thread, and it was such a good thread.
Siobhan Sithole Cinderby Group Holdings, Bernard — the membership with nothing attached. Look, I've rather lost my place on the laminated sheet, and I think we both know this isn't going anywhere, so I'll just
Bernard Oh, I'm sorry to hear that — and I was very interested, truly. Well, you go carefully now, and mind the traffic.
Siobhan Sithole Hello? I'm losing you. Hello?

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Introduce yourself as calling from Cinderby Group Holdings about membership.
  2. Offer membership conferring nothing, purely prestige, with no newsletters or benefits.
  3. Address objection that nothing is included by stressing exclusivity over substance.
  4. Ask them to confirm membership at the prestige rate today.

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