Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #475 · 2026-11-03

Sandra Kowalski
of The Trust for the Care of Empty Lofts

a membership with no meetings and no refunds · membership

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
34%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 475: Sandra Kowalski of The Trust for the Care of Empty Lofts, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictcaller withdrew own offer, no objection raised

“Bernard asked whether the membership needed feeding; Sandra said it just sits there, and by the fee she was already saying goodbye.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Sandra Kowalski Sandra Kowalski, The Trust for the Care of Empty Lofts. It's about your loft — we take a real interest in it.
Bernard Oh, well, that's very good of you. It's mostly full of boxes, the loft, if I'm honest. Are you calling from a cupboard, by the way? You sound a bit muffled.
Sandra Kowalski Ha, brilliant — boxes is lovely feedback, thank you. So, membership of the Trust: complete prestige, and absolutely no meetings and no obligations whatsoever.
Bernard No meetings, you say. That does suit me, because I'm terrible at getting anywhere on time. Does the membership need feeding, or is it more of a thing that just sits there?
Sandra Kowalski Brilliant question, love it. It just sits there, beautifully — and on the fee, I'd say think prestige rather than what you get back in your hand.
Bernard And what sort of figure are we talking, roughly? I like to know the damage early, before I get fond of the idea.
Sandra Kowalski A membership runs forty dollars, and that's the fee side dealt with. And just so we're clear, there are no refunds at all — so can I put you down for a yes?
Bernard Forty, right. Now, does it come in green at all? Only the water butt out back has a green lid and I'm rather partial to it.
Sandra Kowalski Green, ha — noted, lovely detail. Look, I'll be honest with you, Bernard, I don't think this one's going to happen, and that's alright.
Bernard Well, I'm sorry to hear that. I was very interested, truly. You take care now, and mind the traffic on the way home.
Sandra Kowalski Right. I'll let you get back to your afternoon. Goodbye.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by mentioning their loft and your trust's interest in it.
  2. Describe membership prestige with no meetings and no obligations.
  3. Address the fee objection by stressing prestige over tangible returns.
  4. Confirm no refunds and ask for their yes.

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