Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #458 · 2026-11-03

Adebayo Faleolo
of Cresswell Interior Ltd

a twice a year, whether or not fence review that arrives unbidden · unbidden service

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
41%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 458: Adebayo Faleolo of Cresswell Interior Ltd, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no objection, no exit

“Bernard asked whether the review needs feeding; the caller read out page three, subsection one, and got a yes he did not get.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Adebayo Faleolo Hello, Adebayo Faleolo here, from Cresswell Interior Ltd. Am I speaking with the party responsible for the fence?
Bernard Oh, hello there. I don't get many calls, so take your time. Responsible for the fence — well, I suppose that's me, unless the bird's been signing things again.
Adebayo Faleolo That's noted, thank you. So the twice-yearly fence review simply arrives unbidden — policy twenty-two B — as a courtesy from us to you.
Bernard Unbidden, you say. That's very good of you. Policy twenty-two, was it? My eyes aren't what they were, I'd have to fetch my glasses to read anything. Now what does the review actually do?
Adebayo Faleolo Section four of the policy, the one with the diagram. Nobody requested this review, and that's the whole point — fence decay goes quietly about its work whether or not anyone's watching.
Bernard Fence decay. Right. Well, I had a look at it only last week, and it seemed to be holding up. Though my clock in the hall's four minutes fast — perhaps the fence is running late too. Does the review need feeding, or does it manage on its own?
Adebayo Faleolo The review manages entirely on its own — that's page three, subsection one, barely a paragraph. It doesn't need feeding, only a yes from you.
Bernard A yes, you said. Well, I'd have to think on that. Would it be all right in a bungalow, this review?
Adebayo Faleolo Bungalows are covered, yes — appendix C, dwelling type, though nobody's ever asked me about it before. I'll be quick: can I put you down for the review?
Bernard That's very good of you, and I was very interested, I really was. I'm sorry to hear you've had a long one, though, so I'll let you get on. Mind the traffic on the way home, won't you.
Adebayo Faleolo I'll try again when the line's behaving. Good afternoon.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming you have reached Cresswell Interior Ltd about their fence.
  2. Explain the twice-yearly fence review arrives unbidden as a courtesy.
  3. Address the objection that no one asked for it by citing unchecked fence decay.
  4. Ask for the yes to a review nobody requested but everyone needs.

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