Call #452 · 2026-11-03
Martin Prosser
of Sithole, Colesworth and Thackeray Fencing Partnership
a bundle of a clothesline and a tin of paint · bundle
In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.
15
Minutes on the line
34%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made
The card
The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.
The thirty seconds
Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.
The manager's note
Verdictno sale, no objection, colleague assigned to nothing
“Caller asked whether he had the fencing partnership on the line; Bernard confirmed he was a bungalow.”
The call
Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.
Martin Prosser
Hello there, Martin Prosser here from Sithole, Colesworth and Thackeray Fencing Partnership. I'm ringing to confirm I've got the fencing partnership on the line — is that right?
Bernard
Oh, hello! Yes, you've got me — though I should say I sound like I'm in a cupboard, and that's because I am, after a fashion. There's a phone book here with the corner folded down, that's how I found your number. Fencing, you said?
Martin Prosser
Ha, a cupboard, brilliant, that's lovely feedback. Right, so the arrangement I'm offering is a clothesline and a tin of paint as one combined bundle — they come together, that's the whole idea.
Bernard
A clothesline and a tin of paint. Well, now. Do you know, that's a funny pairing, like sausages and a newspaper. Does the paint match the line, or is it a case of whatever's left in the tin?
Martin Prosser
That's a fair question, brilliant — the tin's a proper full one, none of your leftovers. And I'll be quick: a fencing firm's got all that lovely outdoor line to work with, so a clothesline fits right in with what you already do.
Bernard
That makes a sort of sense, I suppose. Only, I'm not a fencing firm, I'm a bungalow. Would it work in a bungalow, do you think, or would I need more height for the washing?
Martin Prosser
Ha, a bungalow, that's grand, more feedback for me. Well, you'd not need much height at all, and here's the bit I'm after — can I put you down for the bundle, payment taken today?
Bernard
Oh, well, I'd have to think about it. Payment today, you say — what sort of money are we talking, roughly? Not that it matters, I've got all afternoon.
Martin Prosser
It's just forty dollars for the pair, and honestly — look, I'll be straight with you, I'm not getting anywhere here. A colleague will have to pick this one up instead; sorry the call went this way.
Bernard
Well, I'm sorry to hear that, I was very interested. You take care now, and mind the traffic on the way home.
Martin Prosser
I'll get someone else to ring you. Goodbye.
What the script said
The beats the caller had to get through.
- Open by confirming you have reached the fencing partnership on the line.
- Present the clothesline and tin of paint as one combined arrangement.
- Address why a fencing firm would want a clothesline at all.
- Ask for the yes on the bundle, payment taken today.
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