Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #443 · 2026-11-02

Jae Eriksen
of Fennimore Glazing

a replacement for a pantry shelf that is not broken · needless replacement

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
34%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.

Share card for call 443: Jae Eriksen of Fennimore Glazing, 15 minutes.

Save the card

The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

Download the clip (MP4, vertical) · Caption to paste

The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no objection, no exit

“Bernard offered the caller sugar in case he came himself; the caller offered to ring back another day, and did not.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Jae Eriksen Good morning, Jae Eriksen here from Fennimore Glazing, and we are ringing to sort out the pantry shelf job on the books. We are delighted to say we were made team leader on Monday.
Bernard Well, that's very good of you, congratulations. Now then, a pantry shelf, you said — is that the one above the airing cupboard, or the other side? I've got to be honest, I thought it was all sorted, but you're very clear, I'll say that for you.
Jae Eriksen Thank you, Bernard, that's kind of you. So the replacement shelf is the same fitting as yours, just a newer board — nothing at all wrong with the one you have, we should be clear on that.
Bernard Oh, well, now, a newer board. I see. And it doesn't need feeding or anything, this board? Only I've had things in this house that wanted more looking after than I did. What sort of wood is it — does it mind the damp?
Jae Eriksen That's the obvious objection, isn't it — the shelf works, and this is a straight swap, not a repair. So can we book the shelf swap for you?
Bernard You can book it, yes — well, I'd have to think about the day. Hold on, there's somebody at the back door. Sorry, that's the gutter, it drips when it's like this. Where were we — a swap, you said. What am I swapping it for again, exactly?
Jae Eriksen No rush with the gutter, Bernard. So may we put you down for the appointment, yes or no?
Bernard Put me down, that's fine, so long as it doesn't clash with my programme — that's on at half four, the one with the antiques. Oh, and do you take sugar? I only ask in case you come yourself.
Jae Eriksen Two sugars if you insist, but let's stay on track — we can go ahead and set the shelf appointment then, yes?
Bernard I'm very interested, I really am. Only I've gone and left my glasses somewhere again, and the calendar's all in my own handwriting. Could you say the shelf part once more while I have a look about?
Jae Eriksen I'll ring you back another day. Bye now.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Introduce yourself and Fennimore Glazing, confirming you have the pantry shelf job.
  2. Describe the replacement shelf: same fitting, newer board, though nothing is wrong with the old one.
  3. Address the obvious objection: yes, the shelf works, this is a swap not a repair.
  4. Ask for the go-ahead to book the shelf swap.

Leaderboard · All calls · ← previous · next →