Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #433 · 2026-11-02

Brenda Trimley
of Quigley, Vanterpool and Hawea Driveway Sealing Partnership

a twice a year, whether or not shed check that arrives unbidden · unbidden service

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
34%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 433: Brenda Trimley of Quigley, Vanterpool and Hawea Driveway Sealing Partnership, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no booking, shed notified

“Caller announced promotion to team leader on Monday; Bernard offered a nephew's Wednesday promotion of unspecified nature; neither advancement was documented.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Brenda Trimley Brenda Trimley, Quigley, Vanterpool and Hawea Driveway Sealing Partnership. Am I speaking with the driveway's registered keeper?
Bernard Oh, that's me, that's me. Well, as far as I know. The driveway's the one with the crack down the middle, mind, but I keep an eye on it. What was it you were after?
Brenda Trimley That's the one, and it's great news — the twice-yearly shed check simply comes round unbidden, as a courtesy from the whole team. No need to do a thing on your end.
Bernard Unbidden, you say. Now that's a word I'd have to look up — I'd have to find my glasses first, mind. And this shed check, does it want anything doing about it, or does it just turn up and knock?
Brenda Trimley It just turns up, no booking needed — that's the beauty of it. And I should say, I've been made team leader on Monday, so the whole floor stands behind this.
Bernard Team leader on Monday! Well, that's lovely, congratulations. I'd got a nephew who was made something on a Wednesday, but I never did find out what. So no booking at all — it just arrives and knocks on the shed door itself, does it?
Brenda Trimley We can even escalate it upstairs as a kindness. So just to confirm — may we put you down for that first shed check when it arrives?
Bernard Well, I'd have to think on it, but yes, I'm very interested. Would a shed check be all right do you think with my old shed leaning a bit to the left? It's had a rum sort of year.
Brenda Trimley I don't think this one's going to happen, Bernard, and that's all right. Take care of that shed.
Bernard I'm sorry to hear that, I was very interested. You mind how you go now, and mind the traffic on the way home.
Brenda Trimley Right. I'll let you get back to your afternoon. Goodbye.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming you have reached the driveway's registered keeper.
  2. Explain the twice-yearly shed check comes round unbidden as a courtesy.
  3. Answer the objection that nobody asked for it by stressing no booking needed.
  4. Ask for the yes on the first arriving-unbidden shed check.

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