Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #424 · 2026-11-02

Brian Thripp
of Whitlock Hedgework Ltd

a replacement for a gatepost that is not broken · needless replacement

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
20%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 424: Brian Thripp of Whitlock Hedgework Ltd, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

Download the clip (MP4, vertical) · Caption to paste

The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no swap, caller handed off to colleague

“Bernard asked whether escalating meant climbing something; the caller declined to answer and handed the file to a colleague.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Brian Thripp Good afternoon, Brian Thripp here from Whitlock Hedgework. We're on the line about the gatepost at your property — we noticed it recently and wanted a word.
Bernard Hold on, let me turn the radio down — there, that's better. Well now, the gate isn't broken, is it? I mean, it's still standing there perfectly happy. But go on, tell me about it.
Brian Thripp Right, the replacement post carries a preservative treatment, so you'd get a longer service life out of it — that's the headline. And as you say, the one you've got is standing perfectly well.
Bernard Preservative, you say? That's interesting. My father kept something like that in the shed years ago, and now I can't find the key to the padlock at all. Does yours need doing every year, or does it look after itself?
Brian Thripp We'd say the whole thing looks after itself. But the existing post, as you've just pointed out, is standing quite contentedly — no denying that.
Bernard Quite contentedly, yes, that's just how I'd put it. Now, do you want me to go and have a look at it while we're talking? I can be out there in a tick, though the knees aren't what they were.
Brian Thripp No need to go out, Bernard, keep the knees rested — since the post's all right as it is, could we book the swap in for this week, just to confirm?
Bernard This week? Oh, I'd have to think about that. My niece is coming Thursday, or is it Friday, I'd have to check. And would it be a fuss — digging, all that? You'd want tea first, surely.
Brian Thripp Team leader as of Monday, so I've got the whole floor behind me on this one — and if it's easier, I can escalate it for you as a kindness. Just a yes to the swap, that's all we're after.
Bernard Escalate, you say. Now that's a grand word — do you have to climb something to do it? Only I've never been sure what it means, and the bird's been squawking through the whole thing.
Brian Thripp I'll get someone else to ring you. Goodbye.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Introduce yourself and mention you noticed their gatepost recently.
  2. Explain the replacement post's preservative and longer service life.
  3. Acknowledge the existing post still stands fine.
  4. Ask for permission to book the swap this week.

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