Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #406 · 2026-11-01

Roger Pickles
of Pellow Garth Dwelling Bureau

a bundle of a back step and a bag of gravel · bundle

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
22%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 406: Roger Pickles of Pellow Garth Dwelling Bureau, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no objection, caller exited unilaterally

“Bernard asked whether the gravel would need feeding; Roger Pickles could not confirm green and put the phone down.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Roger Pickles Roger Pickles, Pellow Garth Dwelling Bureau — brilliant. Am I speaking with the occupier of the property in question?
Bernard Well, I'm the one who answers when it goes, so I suppose that's me. Are you selling, or asking?
Roger Pickles Ha, that's a fair question, and I love that. Neither exactly — the Bureau bundles one back step with one bag of gravel, simple as that.
Bernard Oh, a bundle. That's a nice word, bundle. Now is that the step that goes at the back, or the gravel that goes at the back?
Roger Pickles You're not the first to notice the two items seem unrelated, and honestly, brilliant point. But that's rather the joy of it — the step and the gravel arrive together.
Bernard Well, I'd have to think about that. My drain by the gate does gurgle of an evening, so gravel sounds like it'd have opinions. Would it need feeding, do you think?
Roger Pickles Ha, that's a lovely way to put it, but no feeding needed. So shall we go ahead with the step and the gravel, yes?
Bernard Yes, I'm very interested, now what was it again — the step and the... gravel. And it comes in green at all, does it? The step, I mean.
Roger Pickles Actually, I'm not sure about green, I've quite lost my place — you know what, I'll let you think on the step and the gravel, and we'll leave it there.
Bernard Sorry to hear that, you sounded a bit down at the end. I was very interested, truly. You mind how you go now.
Roger Pickles Forget it. I'm putting the phone down now.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming you have reached the occupier of the property in question.
  2. Explain the Bureau bundles one back step with one bag of gravel.
  3. Address the objection that the two items are plainly unrelated.
  4. Ask for the yes on the back step and gravel arrangement.

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