Call #389 · 2026-10-31
Wei Eriksen
of Vanterpool, Odgers and Kinsey Hedgework Partnership
a bundle of a window catch and a bag of gravel · bundle
In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.
15
Minutes on the line
14%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made
The card
The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.
The thirty seconds
Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.
The manager's note
Verdictno sale, no objection, bird disclosed
“Bernard asked whether the gravel would fit in a bungalow; caller answered by asking for a yes.”
The call
Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.
Wei Eriksen
Hi, Wei Eriksen from Vanterpool, Odgers and Kinsey Hedgework Partnership — brilliant to reach you about your premises and a small arrangement we've put together.
Bernard
Oh, have you had your lunch? I've had mine, a bit early, and now I'm at a loose end. What was it about the premises, then?
Wei Eriksen
A loose end is a lovely bit of feedback, Bernard. So the arrangement is one indivisible thing: a window catch and a bag of gravel, bundled together.
Bernard
A window catch and a bag of gravel. Well, now, that's a nice pair of things. Do they come as the two, or could I have the catch on its own?
Wei Eriksen
Brilliant question — no, they come as the two, entirely indivisible. And the pairing is where the economies live, because one delivery does for both.
Bernard
Ah, one delivery does for both. That's very good of you. There's a coal scuttle in the hall with a hole in the side, so I'm quite used to things arriving together. Would the gravel fit in a bungalow, do you think?
Wei Eriksen
Ha, brilliant — used things, I like that. So it's all one lot, catch and gravel, and I'd love a yes on exactly that.
Bernard
You'd like a yes. Well, I'd have to think about it, I really would. Is it a large bag of gravel, or the sort you could carry in one hand?
Wei Eriksen
That's lovely feedback, thank you. It's one bag in one hand, so if I could just get a yes on the catch and gravel as offered together...
Bernard
You see, I've got a bird in the front room who'd be very interested in a bag of gravel sitting about. Oh, but I'm sorry to have held you up so long — you've been very patient, and I was very interested.
Wei Eriksen
I'll get someone else to ring you. Goodbye.
What the script said
The beats the caller had to get through.
- Open by confirming the partnership's premises and the reason for the call.
- Describe the bundled window catch and bag of gravel as one indivisible arrangement.
- Pre-empt the objection that they are unrelated by stressing the pairing's economies.
- Ask for a yes on the bundle as offered, gravel and catch together.
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