Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #373 · 2026-10-31

Siobhan Pinnock
of Jankowski Wall Coatings Ltd

a bundle of a soakaway and a length of hose · bundle

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
46%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 373: Siobhan Pinnock of Jankowski Wall Coatings Ltd, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no objection, no exit

“Bernard asked whether the hose needed feeding; the caller confirmed the bundle was inseparable and then rang off to let his tea go cold.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Siobhan Pinnock Oh, hello there! Siobhan Pinnock here, from Jankowski Wall Coatings Ltd, and I'm ringing about your ground drainage and hose arrangements — brilliant, is now a good time?
Bernard Oh, hello! Yes, go on — I've put my glasses down somewhere, so you'll have to bear with me. Say the first bit again? I got as far as your name and then the coal bunker caught my eye.
Siobhan Pinnock No trouble at all, that's lovely feedback, thank you! It's Siobhan Pinnock from Jankowski Wall Coatings Ltd, and I'm on about your ground drainage and hose arrangements.
Bernard Hose, right — does a thing like that need feeding, or does it look after itself? I ask because the bird in here takes a keen interest in anything long and dangly.
Siobhan Pinnock Ha, that's a corker! Now then — the soakaway and the hose come supplied solely as one inseparable bundle; there's no getting round that.
Bernard Inseparable, you say. Well, I'd have to think about it. What sort of figure are we talking — for my daughter, that is, she'd want to know before I said yes to anything.
Siobhan Pinnock Ha, fair enough! So the hose and the soakaway can't be separated, that's just how it comes — sixty-two dollars and forty cents for the pair.
Bernard Sixty-two, that's not bad. Although — the immersion heater's got two settings and I've never once got it right, so I'm hopeless with figures. Have you had a long day of it?
Siobhan Pinnock A lovely question, that — no, it's been a smasher of a day! Just to confirm, then, it's the whole bundle, soakaway and hose together, yes?
Bernard Oh, I'm very interested, I really am. It's just — well, I'd have to look at the hall and see where I'd put it. Hang on, my tea's going cold.
Siobhan Pinnock I'll ring you back another day. Bye now.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming you have reached the person responsible for ground drainage and hose arrangements.
  2. Explain the soakaway and hose are supplied solely as one inseparable bundle.
  3. Pre-empt the objection: the hose has no drainage purpose but cannot be split off.
  4. Ask for the yes on the whole bundle, soakaway and hose together.

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