Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #338 · 2026-10-30

Keith Munt
of Petley Draincare and Son

a bundle of a back step and a spare key · bundle

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
71%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 338: Keith Munt of Petley Draincare and Son, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, callback promised, step still rocking

“Bernard asked after the caller's heating before the pitch was out; the caller left with a callback and no pair set aside.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Keith Munt Hello there, Keith Munt here from Petley Draincare and Son, and I'm ringing because, brilliant news, I'd love to ask if you've ever lost a key or had a slip on a wet step.
Bernard Oh, hello there. Are you warm enough where you're sitting? Only it's turned chilly, and I'd hate to think of you in a cold little office somewhere.
Keith Munt That's so kind of you to ask, and I'm toasty, thank you, really lovely. Now, the arrangement itself is a back step and a spare key together as one combined purchase.
Bernard A back step and a spare key. Well, now, that's the sort of thing you don't know you want till it's sitting there. And it's all one thing, is it, not two separate bits you'd have to sort out yourself?
Keith Munt That's exactly it, one combined purchase, no sorting out of separate bits. And I hear you, people say they've already got a step and a key, but the step here is the actual back step for your door.
Bernard Mm. See, I've got a step, but the slab on the front path rocks like a tooth and I keep meaning to see to it. Would your step be the sort of thing that sits nicely, or would it want a firm bit of ground under it?
Keith Munt A firm bit of ground's ideal, honestly, and that's a fair question. So would you like me to put a pair aside for you?
Bernard Well, I'd have to think about it, but that's very good of you. Now, put aside, you said — how long would a thing like that be sitting there before it wants collecting?
Keith Munt Fair enough, I'll leave it there for today. I'll give you a ring back another day.
Bernard I'm sorry to hear that, Keith, I really was very interested. You mind how you go now, and thank you for thinking of me.
Keith Munt I'll ring you back another day. Bye now.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by asking if they've ever lost a key or slipped on a wet step.
  2. Explain the arrangement: back step and spare key, one combined purchase.
  3. Handle the obvious objection that they have a step and a key already.
  4. Ask whether they'd like the pair put aside for them.

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