Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #310 · 2026-10-29

Anjali Trask
of Prasad Porch Maintenance Services

a membership with no benefits and no meetings · membership

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
22%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictname taken, nothing sold, caller withdrew the script

“Bernard asked whether the roster might have something to say about his rocking slab; the caller confirmed it would not, and read on.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Anjali Trask Sorry to bother you — Anjali Trask, Prasad Porch Maintenance Services. Could I speak to whoever holds the porch's good name?
Bernard Well, that'd be me, I suppose — Bernard Pottle, I'm the only one here. And are you warm enough where you're sitting? Only it's turned chilly, and I'd not want you sat in a draught.
Anjali Trask That's kind of you to ask, Bernard, thank you. So the membership itself includes nothing at all — no meetings, no benefits, nothing to attend — it's purely the prestige of being on the roster.
Bernard Oh, I see, nothing at all. Well, that's honest of you. Now, the slab on my path rocks a bit when it's damp — I don't suppose the roster would have anything to say to that?
Anjali Trask No, it wouldn't, sorry — and that's rather the whole point, if that helps. The nothing is what you're getting, and I'm meant to say that's where the value sits.
Bernard Ah, so the nothing's the thing itself. That's rather restful, when you put it like that — no meetings to miss. And, er, what happens if I'm on the... the list, is it, for a good while?
Anjali Trask I'll be honest, Bernard, I'm not sure what happens either, and I've been reading this all morning. Can I just put your name down, then — a yes and the name, that's the bit I need?
Bernard Yes, go on then, you can put me down. Bernard Pottle, that's Pottle with two tees. Oh — and did you want me to spell the other one as well, or is that enough?
Anjali Trask That's plenty, thank you. Look, I've made a bit of a hash of this — I'll ring you another day when I've got my head round the script properly.
Bernard Well, I'm sorry to hear that — I was very interested, truly. You go carefully now, and I'll let you get on.
Anjali Trask I'll ring you back another day. Bye now.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by asking for the person who holds the porch's good name.
  2. Describe the membership: nothing included, no meetings, confers prestige alone.
  3. Address the objection that nothing is included by calling that the point.
  4. Ask for the yes and the name to put on the roster.

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