Call #308 · 2026-10-29
Lerato Tallentire
of The Mossbarrow Trust
a replacement for a porch that is not broken · needless replacement
In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.
15
Minutes on the line
6%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made
The card
The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.
The thirty seconds
Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.
The manager's note
Verdictno sale, no objection, caller exited unassisted
“Caller lost his own script and Bernard apologised for it, then wished him well on the roads.”
The call
Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.
Lerato Tallentire
Hello there, Lerato Tallentire from The Mossbarrow Trust — brilliant to catch you! I'm ringing about our community works programme and a replacement porch, so I just need the homeowner, if that's you?
Bernard
Well, I'd have to say that's me, yes — though I've put my specs down somewhere and I can't for the life of me think where. Say the first bit again, would you? The mossy bit.
Lerato Tallentire
Ha, specs, brilliant! It's Lerato, from The Mossbarrow Trust, and we're offering a replacement porch as part of our community works programme — lovely bit of feedback, you asking me to say it twice.
Bernard
Oh, the mossy one, yes — that's a nice name. Now, my porch, you said. It's been there since before the drain by the gate started gurgling, which I should see to. Does the new one come in green at all?
Lerato Tallentire
Green, lovely! Now your porch is perfectly fine, I'm sure, but a renewal just averts the wear you can't see yet — that's the beauty of it. Would you like me to look at scheduling the visit?
Bernard
Well, now, that's very good of you. I'd have to think about it — would the visit be long? Only I like to be in when the bird's out of sorts, and she's been off her seed since Tuesday.
Lerato Tallentire
Ha, Tuesday's seed situation, that's lovely feedback! Shall I put you down for the visit, then, and you can sort the bird out first?
Bernard
Oh, you're very kind. Put me down and I'll say yes in a minute — it's just I'm not sure about Tuesdays, they're my brother's, no, my sister's, she comes round alternate Tuesdays. Mind how you drive home, the traffic's shocking.
Lerato Tallentire
No, that's, hang on, I had it a moment ago. It doesn't matter. It really doesn't matter.
Bernard
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I was very interested, mind — and thank you for thinking of me. You go on now, and mind that traffic.
Lerato Tallentire
Forget it. I'm putting the phone down now.
What the script said
The beats the caller had to get through.
- Introduce yourself from The Mossbarrow Trust and ask for the homeowner.
- Offer a replacement porch as part of your community works programme.
- Acknowledge their porch is fine but suggest renewal averts unseen wear.
- Ask whether they would like you to schedule the replacement visit.
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