Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #298 · 2026-10-28

Mei Lomax
of Elverton Cross Holdings

an upgrade to a window catch you did not know you had · unknown upgrade

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
41%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.

Share card for call 298: Mei Lomax of Elverton Cross Holdings, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no signature, caller handed off to colleague

“Bernard offered the caller his time and a coat to look at; the caller lost his place, then lost the call.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Mei Lomax Mei Lomax, Elverton Cross Holdings. It's about the window catches in the building — have you noticed them at all?
Bernard Window catches? Well, now, I've never really looked. Are you warm enough where you're sitting, though? That's the important thing on a day like this.
Mei Lomax I'm plenty warm, Bernard, thank you — and here's the great news. That upgrade applies to the fitting you already have but were never registered for, so it's really just a case of me confirming it against your building.
Bernard Ah, an upgrade for something I've already got but never registered. That does sound thrifty. Now, would this upgrade of yours want feeding at all? Only I've had trouble before.
Mei Lomax Nothing to feed, Bernard, I promise you — it's dormant if nothing's found, logged quietly and that's that. So I'll just assume it's a yes and get the pack out to every unit.
Bernard Dormant, you say. Well, I'd have to think about it — oh, hold on, there's a coat in the spare room I meant to look at. What was it you wanted sent out again?
Mei Lomax The pack goes to every unit, Bernard, and I'm taking your yes. Quickest thing you sign all week, that's me.
Bernard Sign a thing, is it? Well, I'd have to think about it. What would I be putting my name to, roughly?
Mei Lomax Just a confirm on the fits you already own but never registered, Bernard, and I'm flattening that into a yes because I'm the best on my floor at this. It's the whole… sorry, I've lost which bullet this was.
Bernard You've lost your place? That's quite all right, I do it constantly. Take your time, I'm not going anywhere.
Mei Lomax I'll get someone else to ring you. Goodbye.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by asking whether they've noticed the window catches in the building.
  2. Explain the upgrade applies to catches they already own but were never registered.
  3. Reassure that if no catch is found, the upgrade is simply logged as dormant.
  4. Ask for a yes to send the upgrade pack to the whole building.

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