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Call #289 · 2026-10-28

Sharon Mbeki
of Cinderby Group Holdings

a replacement for the immersion heater that is not broken · needless replacement

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
22%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 289: Sharon Mbeki of Cinderby Group Holdings, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno approval, no survey, no Thursday

“Bernard congratulated the caller on the promotion, then asked whether the survey could avoid Thursdays; caller ended the call himself.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Sharon Mbeki Hello, this is Sharon Mbeki from Cinderby Group Holdings, and we're ringing to confirm your premises still run on an immersion heater.
Bernard Hello there, and before you start — is this the one about the gutters? Only I've had people about the gutters and I never know who's who. But no, go on, immersion heater, you said.
Sharon Mbeki No, not gutters, we're the heater people. The replacement cylinder upgrade package applies right across all your sites, and we're asking each property in turn.
Bernard All my sites — well, there's only the one, unless you count the shed, and I wouldn't put a cylinder in the shed. Oh, you've caught me on the hop. What was the package called again?
Sharon Mbeki We know the heater works fine, and we're not disputing that. It's the pre-emptive efficiency gains we're after here, across every property.
Bernard Pre-emptive, right. That's the word I lost. Well, I'm very interested, now — is it a green one at all? Only the kitchen is a sort of sage colour and I'm fussy about these things.
Sharon Mbeki So if you could approve the group-wide rollout, we'll get a survey booked in — that's the lot, one survey covers everything. Sharon here — well, team leader as of Monday, so the whole floor is behind this one. Happy to escalate it for you if that helps at all.
Bernard Team leader as of Monday — well, congratulations, that's lovely news. Now, would the survey be on a Thursday? Only Thursdays I'm out at the garden centre, but don't let that stop you.
Sharon Mbeki What we really need is approval on the rollout first, and the survey follows from that. Just that one word back from you and it's done.
Bernard Well, it's very good of you to ask. I'd only want to think about it, and I'm not much of a one for signing on the spot — my sister always says I'm too easy. Oh, now where did I put the reading glasses.
Sharon Mbeki I'll ring you back another day. Bye now.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming the group's premises still run on an immersion heater.
  2. Explain the replacement cylinder upgrade package applies across all sites.
  3. Acknowledge the heater works fine, stress pre-emptive efficiency gains.
  4. Ask Sharon to approve the group-wide rollout and book a survey.

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