Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #282 · 2026-10-28

Trevor Finch
of Vanterpool Glazing

an upgrade to the phone line you did not know you had · unknown upgrade

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
22%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 282: Trevor Finch of Vanterpool Glazing, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no agreement, caller lost his own sheet

“Caller offered a verbal go-ahead for a tier Bernard was already paying for; Bernard offered the caller a sit-down.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Trevor Finch Trevor Finch, Vanterpool Glazing — it's about the phone line in your name, and I only need a moment.
Bernard Well, I've put my glasses down somewhere, so you'll have to bear with me — say the first bit again? Vanterpool, is it? I've got a cousin in glazing, or was it double glazing, I never can remember.
Trevor Finch Take your time, no rush at all. The line registered to your address has a hidden tier on it that you're already paying for.
Bernard A hidden tier, right you are. And they don't tell you about these things, do they — like the squeezy thing on a squash bottle, nobody mentions it. So it's already being paid for, is it? Well, that's very good of them.
Trevor Finch Confusion is completely normal at this stage, Bernard — nobody told you, so there's no fault on your side at all. I can cite the internal notice number if that helps.
Bernard That's a relief, I don't mind admitting. But does this thing of yours need feeding at all? I'm up and down all day for the bird, so I've got my routine and I'd not want to upset it.
Trevor Finch Nothing to look after and nothing to top up — it just sits there, already paid for. So can I take your verbal go-ahead and switch it on today?
Bernard Well now, I'm very tempted, I really am. Only I've got a squirrel on the feeder having a lovely time of it, and if I start saying go-ahead down this phone he'll hear me and go flying. Give me a moment — what was the go-ahead for again?
Trevor Finch It's for the hidden upgrade on your line, the one nobody told you about — apologies, I've lost my place on the sheet for a second. Just to confirm, it's the activation on your existing line.
Bernard Oh dear, we're a right pair this afternoon, aren't we. You get yourself a sit-down and I'll have a proper think.
Trevor Finch I'll ring you back another day. Bye now.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming they have a phone line with Vanterpool Glazing.
  2. Explain their line has a hidden upgrade tier they already pay for.
  3. Reassure them nobody told them, so confusion is completely normal.
  4. Ask to activate the upgrade today and confirm their verbal go-ahead.

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