Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #278 · 2026-10-28

Keith Odgers
of Thursby Lound Draincare Group

an annual inspection of a coal bunker you have never used · inspection

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
14%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.

Share card for call 278: Keith Odgers of Thursby Lound Draincare Group, 15 minutes.

Save the card

The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

Download the clip (MP4, vertical) · Caption to paste

The manager's note

Verdictexemption granted, approval unconfirmed, posted instead

“Bernard offered his approval and then asked where he might find it; Keith elected the post over the drawer.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Keith Odgers Keith Odgers, Thursby Lound Draincare Group. This is about your annual coal bunker inspection.
Bernard Oh, now then — are you selling, or just asking? Because I've got all afternoon either way. And what was the name again, Thursby something?
Keith Odgers Ha, brilliant, that's a fair question. Thursby Lound Draincare Group, and the annual inspection covers a bunker you have never used.
Bernard Never used, that's right, I've never had one of those. Mind you, the boiler clicks itself awake at night, so perhaps it's living down there doing whatever boilers do.
Keith Odgers Oh, that's a lovely bit of feedback, thank you. And that's exactly why we offer the no-bunker-found exemption, so you're covered either way.
Bernard Well, that's very good of you. Exemption, you said? Only my left ear's a bit funny, so say it slowly for me.
Keith Odgers Ha, brilliant, that's the spirit. And it still stands either way, so shall I put your approval on the annual register?
Bernard Put my approval down, yes — now, would that be written down anywhere I'd be able to find it? Only the kitchen drawer's full of instructions and I can't tell which is which.
Keith Odgers I'll pop it in writing for you so there's no muddle. Nice talking to you, Mr Pottle.
Bernard I'm sorry to hear that, Keith, truly. I was very interested, mind. You get yourself home safe, and mind the traffic.
Keith Odgers I'll send it in the post instead. Save us both the trouble. Goodbye.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming Keith is speaking to the coal bunker inspection team.
  2. Explain the annual inspection covers a bunker he has never used.
  3. Address that he cannot find the bunker by offering a no-bunker-found exemption.
  4. Ask him to approve the inspection anyway, on the annual register.

Leaderboard · All calls · ← previous · next →