Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #275 · 2026-10-28

Ravi Thackeray
of The Elverton Cross Trust

a annual radiator bleed that arrives unbidden · unbidden service

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
22%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 275: Ravi Thackeray of The Elverton Cross Trust, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no objection, no exit

“Bernard asked after the caller's warmth, offered the bird as a co-signatory, and was still choosing between Tuesday and Thursday when the caller rang off.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Ravi Thackeray Hello there, Ravi Thackeray here from The Elverton Cross Trust — we're just confirming we've reached the occupier of the property, one quick question about your radiators.
Bernard Oh, hello, yes, that's me, I'm the one in the house. You've come through quite clearly, which is nice — are you warm enough where you're sitting?
Ravi Thackeray That's kind of you, we're all fine here, thank you. So the trust runs an annual courtesy radiator bleed for homes in the area, and it simply arrives unbidden — no appointment needed from you.
Bernard Unbidden, you say. That's a lovely word. I had a cousin who was rather unbidden, turned up at Christmas every year without a word to anyone. So when would this happen?
Ravi Thackeray The bleed itself is harmless and costs you nothing, and we're properly covered against any mishap. That's the main thing I wanted to get across.
Bernard Well that's very good of you, very good. Nothing worse than a mishap. Would they want to get at the radiators in the back room? There's a bit of a squeeze past the immersion heater, that's all.
Ravi Thackeray The back one's no trouble at all, we'd just ask for a simple yes to the arrival date. As team leader I can escalate anything too tight for a standard visit, so there's nothing for you to worry about there.
Bernard Oh, I'm not worried, I'm quite enjoying this. Now then — was it the Thursday or the Tuesday? I've got my glasses somewhere but they've gone wandering again.
Ravi Thackeray Let's say Tuesday — I just need that one simple yes from you and we can put the whole floor onto it.
Bernard Only my sister's crowd are away that week, so it might just be me and the bird. As long as nobody minds him.
Ravi Thackeray I'll ring you back another day. Bye now.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming you have reached the occupier, vaguely in the area.
  2. Explain the trust's annual courtesy radiator bleed, arriving unbidden as a service.
  3. Reassure that the bleed is harmless, free, and the trust is insured.
  4. Ask for a simple yes to the arrival date.

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