Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #272 · 2026-10-28

Dawn Quigley
of The Trust for the Study of Ordinary Things

a bundle of a fridge and a length of hose · bundle

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
14%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 272: Dawn Quigley of The Trust for the Study of Ordinary Things, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, hose role unstated, caller self-terminated

“Caller confirmed the arrangement was ready to go out and then mistook Bernard's clock for a deadline; hose's purpose remains deliberately unstated.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Dawn Quigley Dawn Quigley, The Trust for the Study of Ordinary Things. There's a bundle with your name on it, and I'd like to settle it today.
Bernard Oh, well, that's very good of you. A bundle, you say? I had a bundle of kindling once, but it wasn't mine, it was next door's. What's in this one, then?
Dawn Quigley Bernard, it's one fridge, one length of hose, and one bundled consideration. That's the whole of it, and you'd be getting all three as a single arrangement.
Bernard A fridge and a hose. Well, now, I've been meaning to ask somebody about that. Would the hose be for the fridge to drink out of, or is that a silly question?
Dawn Quigley That's not a silly question at all, and the answer is that the hose's role in the arrangement remains deliberately unstated. Deliberately, Bernard, and I'd hate to spoil it for you.
Bernard Deliberately unstated. Oh, I like that. My sister's Christmas is a bit like that, nobody says whose turn it is. Now, would this arrangement come in green at all?
Dawn Quigley Now you're asking the right questions, Bernard, and I can confirm the complete arrangement is ready to go out to you. Shall I put the yes down as a yes?
Bernard Well, I'd have to think about it, but it's very interesting. The clock in the hall is four minutes fast, so I've got a bit of time before anything official happens. Would you like a cup of something while we wait?
Dawn Quigley I've been on this floor eleven years, Bernard, and I know a maybe when I hear one. This one's not going to happen, is it.
Bernard I'm sorry to hear that, I really am. I was very interested, truly. You mind the traffic on the way home now.
Dawn Quigley Right. I'll let you get back to your afternoon. Goodbye.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open warmly as Dawn Quigley of the Trust for the Study of Ordinary Things.
  2. Present the arrangement: one fridge, one length of hose, one bundled consideration.
  3. Address the objection: the hose's role in the arrangement remains deliberately unstated.
  4. Ask for the yes and confirm dispatch of the complete arrangement.

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