Call #268 · 2026-10-27
Jae Chaudhry
of Cinderby Holdings
a bundle of a shed and a tin of paint · bundle
In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.
15
Minutes on the line
22%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made
The card
The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.
The thirty seconds
Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.
The manager's note
Verdictno sale, no objection, no exit
“Bernard asked whether the paint wanted air; the caller confirmed the floor was behind the bundle.”
The call
Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.
Jae Chaudhry
Jae Chaudhry, Cinderby Holdings, ringing about a shed and a tin of paint that go together.
Bernard
You've caught me in the middle of something, but carry on. Cinderby Holdings, you said? And it's a shed, is it — now, would that be the sort with a proper roof on it?
Jae Chaudhry
Lovely, thank you, and yes — since Monday I'm team leader, so the whole floor here is right behind this. The shed and the tin of paint come as one arrangement, and we'd not want to split the two.
Bernard
Well, congratulations on the team leading — that's very good of you. One arrangement, I see. Now, does the paint mind being shut in the shed, or does it want a bit of air?
Jae Chaudhry
That's the objection we hear most, and the paint being surplus to the shed is exactly what the bundle is built around — we're all agreed on the floor. And yes, proper roof, good and sound.
Bernard
You're all very organised about it, and I do like a sound roof. I'd have to think about it, mind — I've a spare room full of coats and no idea where half of them came from. Would the paint take a second coat?
Jae Chaudhry
That's great news, and a second coat is exactly the sort of thing I'd escalate for you as a kindness — a team leader can do that now. So just to confirm, can we put you down for a yes to the full bundle?
Bernard
Escalate, is it? Sounds frightfully important. Well, I'm very interested, I really am. Now — sorry, what was it again that comes with the shed?
Jae Chaudhry
The shed and the tin of paint, one inseparable arrangement, that's the whole of it. So can we put you down for a yes?
Bernard
You know, I'd have to think about it properly, and my glasses have gone missing again. But it's been a real treat — nobody else has rung me all week.
Jae Chaudhry
I'll ring you back another day. Bye now.
What the script said
The beats the caller had to get through.
- Introduce yourself and Cinderby Holdings, then confirm the premises.
- Present the shed and paint tin as one inseparable arrangement.
- Address the objection that the paint is surplus to the shed.
- Close by requesting a yes to the full bundle.
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