Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #260 · 2026-10-27

Sandra Sithole
of Rangi Cavity Care

a membership with no discounts and no cover · membership

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
6%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 260: Sandra Sithole of Rangi Cavity Care, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no objection, caller self-disconnected

“Caller opened with the membership and closed with the bird; Bernard never left the hallway, and the line did the rest.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Sandra Sithole Sandra Sithole, Rangi Cavity Care. I'm calling because you answered the phone, and now we have to talk about the membership.
Bernard Oh, hello Sandra, and are you warm enough where you're sitting? I've got the heating on in here, though the little bird in the front room seems to think it's summer. Now, a membership, is it? Very good of you to ring.
Sandra Sithole That's kind of you to ask. The Rangi Cavity Care membership is recognition — it marks you out as someone who's been noticed, not a discount, not cover.
Bernard Noticed, you say. Well, that's the first time anyone's noticed me in the hallway for a while, apart from the bird. So it's a bit like a badge, is it? What does it look like — would it be green at all?
Sandra Sithole It's not a badge you wear, it's standing. The objection is always that membership gives you nothing, and my answer is: nothing is precisely the point — it's the standing that counts.
Bernard Standing. Ah, now that's interesting, because my side gate only opens inwards and I've never got on with it. Is your standing the same sort of standing, or do you mean standing as in how you're thought of?
Sandra Sithole The second one. So if I can just get the yes on the prestige membership and take your details down, we can wrap this up and I can stop saying the word standing.
Bernard Well, I'd have to think about it, only I've forgot where I put my glasses, so I can't write anything down. Would it be all right in a bungalow, this prestige of yours? And tell me your name again, dear — was it Sylvia?
Sandra Sithole Eleven thousand calls and it's only Tuesday. Look — I'm not going to get this one, am I. Have a nice afternoon with the bird, Bernard, and tell it I said—
Bernard Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, and I was very interested, truly. You mind the traffic on the way home, Sylvia.
Sandra Sithole Hello? I'm losing you. Hello?

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by naming yourself plainly and confirming who is on the line.
  2. Describe the Rangi Cavity Care membership as recognition, not discounts or cover.
  3. Meet the objection that membership gives you nothing with the point about standing.
  4. Ask for the yes on the prestige membership and confirm their details.

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