Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #239 · 2026-10-26

Martin Cresswell
of Mbeki, Palgrave and Oyelaran Wall Coatings Partnership

a replacement for a back step that is not broken · needless replacement

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
34%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 239: Martin Cresswell of Mbeki, Palgrave and Oyelaran Wall Coatings Partnership, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no objection, caller lost himself

“Bernard asked whether the step would need feeding; Martin asked whether he was still there, then answered himself.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Martin Cresswell Martin Cresswell, Mbeki, Palgrave and Oyelaran Wall Coatings Partnership. Am I speaking with the household that has the existing back step?
Bernard I was just thinking about something else entirely. Start again.
Martin Cresswell Right, sorry. Martin Cresswell, from Mbeki, Palgrave and Oyelaran Wall Coatings Partnership, and it's the back step I'm calling about. We're offering to replace it with a newer one.
Bernard Oh, a newer one. Well, that's very good of you. Remind me, is that the step at the back? I get the fronts and the backs muddled these days.
Martin Cresswell Yes, the back one. And I do have to note the objection on the sheet, so — you'll likely say it still works perfectly well, and policy seventeen-C covers exactly that.
Bernard Oh it does, it's a lovely step, never a wobble on it. Policy seventeen-C, is that the one with the drain by the gate on it? That gurgles something dreadful in the rain.
Martin Cresswell Then may I just book the installation — one short visit, no drain involved, nothing gurgling. Say yes and I'll put your name on the sheet.
Bernard Well, I'd have to think about it. Would they send a sample of it first, so I could see how it sits in the light?
Martin Cresswell A sample of a step isn't something the firm does, but I could read you the description again if that helps. Just to confirm, though — yes or no on the installation?
Bernard Sorry, the pen's gone dry. Now, a step like that — would it need feeding?
Martin Cresswell Hello? I'm losing you. Hello?

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming this is the household with the existing back step.
  2. Explain you are offering to replace that back step with a newer one.
  3. Address the objection that the current step still works perfectly well.
  4. Ask for the go-ahead to schedule the replacement step's installation.

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