Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #225 · 2026-10-26

Callum Tallentire
of Quist Driveway Sealing and Son

a twice a year, whether or not garden gravel subscription that renews itself · renewing subscription

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
12%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 225: Callum Tallentire of Quist Driveway Sealing and Son, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, caller hung up on himself

“Bernard offered to think about it and asked about the bird; Callum lost his place and then lost the line.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Callum Tallentire Good afternoon, Callum Tallentire, Quist Driveway Sealing and Son. I'm after the gravel owner at the property — that's yourself, yes?
Bernard Hold on, let me turn the radio down. There we are. Gravel, yes, that's me, well, it's the drive's really, but I'm the one who looks at it. Sorry, did you say sealing? I thought you said ceiling for a moment.
Callum Tallentire Bernard, gravel freshness is what Quist does best — twice a year we come out, weed-free and level, and the drive simply looks after itself. Now, I know what you're thinking.
Bernard Twice a year, that's not bad at all. Weeds do get into it something dreadful, especially by the gate. Would whoever comes round mind the bird? He gets a bit flappy with visitors.
Callum Tallentire Freshest part, Bernard: it renews itself quietly, twice a year, no calendar, no thinking, no remembering. Never missed once.
Bernard Oh, that's clever, that is. I've got a boiler does something similar, clicks itself awake at night whether I want it to or not. Does yours need feeding at all? Only I forget things.
Callum Tallentire It's the best thing I've put my name to, Bernard, and I'd like to get that first visit booked for you now — shall we say yes and put you in the diary?
Bernard Well, I'd have to think about it, I don't like to rush. What was the name of the firm again? And is it a Tuesday you'd be coming, because Tuesdays I'm usually in.
Callum Tallentire Right, I'll be straight with you — I've lost my place in this now, so I'll let you get back to the radio.
Bernard Sorry to hear that, you were doing ever so well. I was very interested, truly I was. You mind the traffic on the way home, now.
Callum Tallentire Hello? I'm losing you. Hello?

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming you have reached the gravel owner at the property.
  2. Sell the twice-a-year gravel freshness, weed-free and level service.
  3. Pre-empt the objection: it renews itself quietly, no need to remember.
  4. Ask for the go-ahead so the first visit can be booked.

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