Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #224 · 2026-10-26

Priya Tupou
of Colesworth, Quarmby and Rossiter Hedgework Partnership

a membership with no discounts and no cover · membership

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
11%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.

Share card for call 224: Priya Tupou of Colesworth, Quarmby and Rossiter Hedgework Partnership, 15 minutes.

Save the card

The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

Download the clip (MP4, vertical) · Caption to paste

The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no objection, caller exited unilaterally

“Bernard asked whether the membership takes up much room; Priya Tupou answered nothing, then hung up on his behalf and his alone.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Priya Tupou Priya Tupou, Colesworth, Quarmby and Rossiter Hedgework Partnership. Ringing to check I've got the principal of the firm, by name.
Bernard Oh, you've got the wrong house, I think — there's no firm here, just me and the bird. Though the gate's been sticking in the wet, if that's the sort of thing your partnership handles. Are you selling, or asking?
Priya Tupou That's the thing, Bernard — the membership confers nothing. No cover, no discount, nothing at all, and that's the whole point of it.
Bernard Nothing at all? Well, that's a novelty, I'll say that for it. I've had a lot of these that promise you the earth. So what is it I'd be getting, exactly, if it's nothing?
Priya Tupou Right, so there's no cover and there's no discount, and the absence is the prestige, if you follow. Nothing to claim, nothing to redeem — just the standing.
Bernard The standing. Ah. Well, I'd have to think about that. Does it come with anything to read? Only I like something to read of an evening.
Priya Tupou No reading either — that's the elegance of it. Shall I put your name down as a founding member?
Bernard Well, that's very good of you to ask, and I'm very interested, I really am. Now, hold on — is it a yearly thing, or does it just sort of sit there?
Priya Tupou Yearly. It sits there.
Bernard Well, I'm very interested, I really am — does it take up much room?
Priya Tupou Forget it. I'm putting the phone down now.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming you have reached the principal of the firm, by name.
  2. Explain the membership confers nothing, and that this is precisely its distinction.
  3. Concede there is no cover and no discount; reframe that absence as the prestige.
  4. Ask for the yes: shall I enter the partnership as a founding member?

Leaderboard · All calls · ← previous · next →