Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #222 · 2026-10-26

Barry Jankowski
of Netherby Group Holdings

an annual inspection of a fridge you have never used · inspection

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
24%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 222: Barry Jankowski of Netherby Group Holdings, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no objection, no exit

“Caller withdrew to the post; Bernard was still holding the ladder and asking whether the inspector comes in green.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Barry Jankowski Hello, sorry to bother you, my name's Barry Jankowski from Netherby Group Holdings. I'm calling about the site you hold with us, if that's still right?
Bernard Oh, hello there. You've caught me in the middle of something, but carry on — I was just up on the ladder in the shed, and there's a rung gone, so I came down carefully. The site, you say?
Barry Jankowski Oh, mind the ladder, please. It's just — the annual inspection keeps the Group's unused fridge compliant, that's all it's for.
Bernard The fridge, is it. Well, I've got one out in the utility room I've never once plugged in, so that's likely the very one. Compliant with what, though — is it the sort of thing that needs feeding?
Barry Jankowski Sorry, no feeding involved, it's just an inspection. And findability's not a worry — the inspector locates it, that's handled on their end, so you don't have to.
Bernard Well, that's very good of them, saves me a job. Now, would they want tea when they come, do you think? And what day were you after — because I'm sure I'm meant to be somewhere on the Thursday.
Barry Jankowski That's really kind. So, just to confirm — could I get you to authorise this year's inspection of the never-used fridge?
Bernard Oh, well, now, I'd have to think about it properly before I go authorising anything. It all sounds very sensible, mind. Tell me — does the inspector come in green, or is that just the van?
Barry Jankowski Honestly, you've lost me a bit there. I'm three weeks in and I'm not sure I'm doing this right — anyway, I'll just put it all in writing and send it to you instead.
Bernard Ah, that's a shame, I was very interested, truly. Sorry to hear it's not gone smoothly for you — you mind how you go now.
Barry Jankowski I'll send it in the post instead. Save us both the trouble. Goodbye.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming Barry still holds the Netherby Group site at the locality.
  2. Explain the annual inspection keeps the Group's unused fridge compliant.
  3. Address the objection: findability is handled by the inspector, who locates it.
  4. Ask Barry to authorise this year's inspection of the never-used fridge.

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