Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #218 · 2026-10-26

Terence Kinsey
of Lindqvist, Pendry and Quarmby Hedgework Partnership

a bundle of a side gate and a folding chair · bundle

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
34%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 218: Terence Kinsey of Lindqvist, Pendry and Quarmby Hedgework Partnership, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no objection, caller self-disconnected

“Bernard asked after the caller's warmth; Terence answered honestly, then lost the line and the sale in the same breath.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Terence Kinsey Hello, sorry to bother you, this is Terence Kinsey from Lindqvist, Pendry and Quarmby Hedgework Partnership. I just need to confirm I've reached the partnership and its side entrance.
Bernard Well, I had the wireless on and I've lost the thread of it, so you'll have to bear with me. But yes, this is the house, and there's a side entrance round by the back door. Is it the hedgework you're after?
Terence Kinsey Sorry, sorry, I'll talk slower. So the arrangement we're offering is one bundled thing, the side gate and its folding chair together, not two separate items.
Bernard Oh, a bundled thing. Well that's tidy, one thing to keep an eye on rather than two. Does the whole bundle need a coat of something each year, or does it look after itself?
Terence Kinsey That's a very fair question, and honestly I wish I had a better answer for it. I should probably address the other thing first, which is people saying a gate and a chair have nothing to do with each other.
Bernard Well, people do say all sorts, don't they. My first thought was that a chair is no good sitting on a gate — but I daresay you've thought that through.
Terence Kinsey Yes, exactly, you've got it, and I'm glad you said that before I did. So just to confirm, would you like the side gate and the folding chair as a single order, yes or no?
Bernard Well, I'd have to think about it, it's a big decision for a Tuesday. Are you warm enough out there on your rounds, at least?
Terence Kinsey That's kind of you to ask, warmer than I expected, honestly. I'll be honest with you, I'm three weeks in and I'm not sure I'm any good at this, so
Bernard Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, and I really was very interested. You take care now, and mind the traffic on the way home.
Terence Kinsey Hello? I'm losing you. Hello?

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming you have reached the hedgework partnership and its side entrance.
  2. Describe the side gate and folding chair as one bundled arrangement, not two items.
  3. Address the objection that a gate and chair have nothing to do with each other.
  4. Ask for the yes on the pair as a single order.

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