Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #214 · 2026-10-26

Nadia Munt
of Tupou Cavity Care Services

a membership with no benefits and no discounts · membership

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
38%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 214: Nadia Munt of Tupou Cavity Care Services, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no objection, wasp unresolved

“Bernard asked whether the card comes in green and whether the fee minds a bird; nothing was sold, and the caller handed him to a colleague.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Nadia Munt Hello, Nadia Munt here from Tupou Cavity Care Services — we're a known local trade, and we're ringing about our membership.
Bernard Oh, hello Nadia, lovely to hear from you — I've put my glasses down somewhere, so say the first bit again? And what was it, the cavity care, is that teeth or is that the walls?
Nadia Munt It's the walls, Bernard, we're the cavity people — and since Monday I'm team leader, so the whole team's behind this call. The membership's a fee, a card, and honestly no benefits at all, and we're all very clear about that.
Bernard A card's a nice thing to have, and no benefits at all — that's refreshingly honest. Now, does the card come in green at all, or just the one colour?
Nadia Munt Green's the only colour we do, so that's easy. The thing worth knowing is that the people who already hold it include a lot of very sensible households round here, which is really the case for it.
Bernard Well, if sensible households are at it, I'm very interested. What's the fee again — and does it mind a bird in the front room?
Nadia Munt The fee's forty dollars, and a bird in the front room is absolutely fine. So can we put you down for the yes and start the membership?
Bernard Forty, right, and that's imaginary money of course — no, I mean it's very good of you. I'd want a think, but hold on, there's a wasp in my kitchen window doing all sorts.
Nadia Munt That's no trouble at all, take a moment. We can escalate it to a colleague if that's easier, since honestly this is where they'd usually step in.
Bernard No, no, don't escalate on my account. I'm sorry to hear it's come to that — I really was very interested, and you've been lovely. Mind the traffic going home, won't you.
Nadia Munt I'll get someone else to ring you. Goodbye.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Introduce yourself and Tupou Cavity Care as a known local trade.
  2. Explain the membership: a fee, a card, and no benefits whatsoever.
  3. Address the objection that it does nothing by citing who already holds it.
  4. Ask plainly for the yes and offer to start the membership.

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