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Call #204 · 2026-10-25

Brenda Chaudhry
of Mbeki Guttering Ltd

an upgrade to a boiler you did not know you had · unknown upgrade

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
34%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 204: Brenda Chaudhry of Mbeki Guttering Ltd, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no objection, caller lost himself

“Bernard offered the caller a cup of tea and a safe journey home; the caller offered him policy fourteen-B.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Brenda Chaudhry Good afternoon, Brenda Chaudhry here from Mbeki Guttering Ltd. I'm calling because your boiler is on the register, and I need to check a detail with you.
Bernard Oh, is it raining where you are? Only I've been watching the window and I can't tell if it's spitting or not. Sorry, go on — you said something about a register?
Brenda Chaudhry Right, but the weather's not the matter in hand. This upgrade adds a combustion safeguard to the boiler serving your property, the one you may not have realised you own.
Bernard Combustion safeguard. Combustion safeguard — that's a lovely long word. Mind you, I'd have said cushion, at first, which put me in mind of the greenhouse. What does the safeguard do, in the plain sense?
Brenda Chaudhry Policy fourteen-B has you as the owner on our side, so there's nothing for you to dig out. Shall I put the upgrade through now, before the window shuts?
Bernard Well, that's very good of you. Fourteen-B, you say? I'd have to think about it, mind. Does it come in green at all? Only everything round here ends up green eventually.
Brenda Chaudhry Well, I've got my sheet in front of me and every line on it says to just get the yes. Can I put you down for it?
Bernard Oh, I wouldn't want to hold you up on my account. You sound like you've a long list there. Would you like a cup of tea while you're going? No, that's daft, isn't it — you're not here, are you.
Brenda Chaudhry I've rather lost where I was on this sheet, and the pens aren't helping, truthfully. Mbeki Guttering Ltd would still very much like your yes, though—before the window shuts on
Bernard I'm sorry to hear that. I really was very interested, you know — it's just I'd never manage it today. You get yourself off home, and mind the traffic.
Brenda Chaudhry Hello? I'm losing you. Hello?

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by asking whether they know the boiler serving their property is on the register.
  2. Explain the upgrade adds a combustion safeguard to the boiler they never knew they owned.
  3. Address the objection that they have no record of owning a boiler there.
  4. Ask them to confirm the upgrade now, before the register closes the eligibility window.

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