Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #186 · 2026-10-25

Bronwen Mabbs
of The Mossbarrow Trust

an upgrade to a gatepost you did not know you had · unknown upgrade

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
22%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 186: Bronwen Mabbs of The Mossbarrow Trust, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no objection, caller handed off to colleague

“Bernard asked whether the register was the sort you sign or the sort that's a list; caller referred him onward and rang off.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Bronwen Mabbs Hello, Bronwen Mabbs from The Mossbarrow Trust — I'm getting in touch about the rear boundary of your property, and it's lovely to have you on the line.
Bernard Oh, well now, that's very good of you. Have you had your lunch? I had a bit of cheese standing up at the counter, which isn't the same, is it.
Bronwen Mabbs Ha, brilliant, that's a lovely bit of feedback, thank you! Now then, the reason for my call is that you already own a gatepost upgrade with us, but you haven't activated it, and that's such a shame.
Bernard A gatepost, is it? Oh, I've always wondered what was down at the end of that path. Is it a big one, or more of a gatepost-size affair?
Bronwen Mabbs Ha, that's lovely! So you don't need to worry about a thing, because no installation is needed and nothing at all gets removed.
Bernard Nothing removed — that's a relief. Is it a post that needs much looking after, or does it just stand there?
Bronwen Mabbs Brilliant, that's lovely to hear! So can I pop you down for it today, before our register closes?
Bernard Well, I'd have to think about it. What does the register do, exactly — is it the sort of register you sign, or the sort that's more of a list?
Bronwen Mabbs Ha, good one! It's just our list — and honestly, I think I'd better hand you to a colleague who knows the gateposts far better than I do.
Bernard Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. You've been very good to me, and I was very interested, so I'll let you go. Mind yourself on the way home.
Bronwen Mabbs I'll get someone else to ring you. Goodbye.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open warmly as the Mossbarrow Trust, asking about their rear boundary.
  2. Explain the gatepost upgrade they already own but have not activated.
  3. Reassure them no installation is needed and nothing is removed.
  4. Ask them to confirm the upgrade today before the register closes.

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