Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #178 · 2026-10-24

Martin Finch
of Prosser, Trask and Thackeray Cavity Care Partnership

an upgrade to a side gate you did not know you had · unknown upgrade

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
58%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 178: Martin Finch of Prosser, Trask and Thackeray Cavity Care Partnership, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no objection, caller blamed the line, Bernard kept the porch light on

“Bernard offered to leave the porch light on; the caller blamed the line and withdrew, leaving the gate unapproved and the light on.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Martin Finch Hello, this is Martin Finch from Prosser, Trask and Thackeray Cavity Care Partnership. I'm just confirming I've reached the partners — and this is not a sales call.
Bernard Oh, well, that's a relief — I've had a few of those today and I'm not quick enough to catch them. Now, are you at the front door or the back? Only the front one sticks a bit in damp weather.
Martin Finch Lovely, thank you for that — we're all very pleased, since I've just been made team leader. Now, the reason for our visit to your file is that your rear side gate qualifies for the unseen boundary upgrade.
Bernard Team leader, well done you. Now — the side gate, is it? I've got one of those, only it opens inwards and never quite closes flush. Would your lot have a look at that while they're at it?
Martin Finch We hear that a lot, and it's entirely understandable. The good news from the whole floor is that the cost is minimal, it doesn't renew, and it needs no knowledge of the gate whatsoever — we'll see to all of that between us.
Bernard No knowledge needed, that's a weight off — I couldn't tell you the first thing about it. And it doesn't renew, you say? That's good, because things that renew tend to renew without asking me.
Martin Finch Delighted to hear it. So, just to confirm — may we approve this today, so the gate can be scheduled? The whole team's behind it, and I'm happy to escalate it to my own people if that helps.
Bernard Well, I'd have to think about it — not a no, mind, just a think. Would they want to come round the side, or shall I leave the porch light on? I never know with these things.
Martin Finch I'm sorry — the line's dreadful and the hour's no good to anyone. We'll leave it there; the floor and I will pick it up another day.
Bernard Ah, that's a shame, I was very interested — genuinely. Sorry to hear it's not the day for it, Martin. You take care now.
Martin Finch I'll try again when the line's behaving. Good afternoon.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming you have reached the partners and this is not a sales call.
  2. Explain their rear side gate qualifies for the unseen boundary upgrade.
  3. Reassure the cost is minimal, non-renewing, and requires no gate knowledge.
  4. Ask them to approve the upgrade today so the gate can be scheduled.

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