Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #172 · 2026-10-24

Roy Lashley
of The Trust for Household Continuity

a replacement for a window catch that is not broken · needless replacement

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
18%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.

Share card for call 172: Roy Lashley of The Trust for Household Continuity, 15 minutes.

Save the card

The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

Download the clip (MP4, vertical) · Caption to paste

The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no objection, no exit; caller handed off to colleague

“Bernard offered the caller a seat out of the cold and introduced Muriel; the caller's script was still missing when he passed the file on.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Roy Lashley Hello, sorry to bother you, this is Roy Lashley from The Trust for Household Continuity. I just wanted to ask how your window catches are holding up this winter, if that's all right?
Bernard You're very clear, I'll say that for you. Window catches, now — well, they're holding up, I suppose, as far as I know. I've not had a proper look at them lately. Would you like to come in out of the cold while we talk about it?
Roy Lashley That's kind, thank you, but I'm fine out here. So, the Trust runs a replacement programme for these, and I just need to take you through it — sorry, I've got it here somewhere.
Bernard Take your time, no rush at all. I've got all afternoon and a bird in the front room who's a rotten listener. What was the name of your outfit again?
Roy Lashley It's the ones still doing their job that we're meant to swap out, funnily enough.
Bernard Sorry, I've lost the thread of it. Now, what was it you were saying?
Roy Lashley Sorry, yes — it's The Trust for Household Continuity, and the programme swaps catches that are still working fine.
Bernard Household continuity, right. So a working one is exactly what you'd want rid of — well, that's a new one on me, but you'd know, wouldn't you. Does it come with a fitter, or do I put it on myself?
Roy Lashley A fitter, yes, that's all included, so really I just need a yes and your address and I can book him in.
Bernard Well, I'd have to have a think about that. Give me a second, I've got my reading glasses somewhere and I want to write this down. Oh — did I tell you the bird's called Muriel? I don't think I did.
Roy Lashley I'll get someone else to ring you. Goodbye.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by asking how their window catches are holding up this winter.
  2. Explain the Trust's replacement catch programme for working catches.
  3. Reassure that catches which work are precisely the ones due for replacing.
  4. Ask for the go-ahead to book the fitter and confirm the address.

Leaderboard · All calls · ← previous · next →