Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #168 · 2026-10-24

Raymond Vanterpool
of Tupou Paving and Son

a bundle of a washing machine and a bag of gravel · bundle

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
34%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 168: Raymond Vanterpool of Tupou Paving and Son, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no objection, no exit

“Bernard asked whether the gravel would need feeding; the caller escalated it to the floor and then to nobody.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Raymond Vanterpool Good afternoon, this is Raymond Vanterpool of Tupou Paving and Son. I'm ringing on behalf of the whole team to confirm you're the Raymond who speaks for the firm.
Bernard Oh, hello there. Now, is it raining where you are? Only I've been looking at the greenhouse and there's a cracked pane letting the damp in.
Raymond Vanterpool Rain's not really our department, but I'll note it for the team. The arrangement is one washing machine and one bag of gravel, together as a bundle.
Bernard That's very good of you. And does the machine come in green at all? Only it'd want to match something out in the garden.
Raymond Vanterpool Green I can't promise, but I can escalate that. Now, I know what you're thinking — what's a washing machine got to do with paving?
Bernard Well, now you mention it, I was rather wondering. Would the gravel need feeding, do you think?
Raymond Vanterpool That one I'd have to ask the floor about. But the bundle — machine and bag together — can we put you down for a yes?
Bernard Oh, I'd have to think about it. Hold on, there's somebody at the door. It's only the ironing board fallen over. Where were we?
Raymond Vanterpool No trouble at all. As team leader since Monday, we can escalate the ironing board along with everything else — that's the kindness we offer.
Bernard Since Monday? Oh, that's a quick promotion, well done you. Now, would that be the Tuesday coming, or the Monday just gone?
Raymond Vanterpool Forget it. I'm putting the phone down now.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming Raymond speaks for Tupou Paving and Son.
  2. Explain the arrangement: one washing machine and one bag of gravel, together.
  3. Pre-empt the objection that the two items have nothing to do with paving.
  4. Ask Raymond for the yes on the combined bundle.

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