Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #167 · 2026-10-24

Carol Tupou
of Underhill, Hollins and Sandiford Draincare Partnership

a annual loft dust subscription that renews itself · renewing subscription

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
34%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 167: Carol Tupou of Underhill, Hollins and Sandiford Draincare Partnership, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no objection, caller closed the file himself

“Bernard offered the caller the traffic and his own afternoon; caller accepted the afternoon and hung up.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Carol Tupou Hello, Carol Tupou here from Underhill, Hollins and Sandiford Draincare Partnership — is that the partnership itself I'm speaking with?
Bernard Oh, hello. Well, I had the wireless on and I've lost the thread of it, so you'll have to bear with me — now, is that the drain people? Because I've been meaning to ask somebody about the side gate.
Carol Tupou Ha, brilliant, the side gate, I love that. Yes, the drain people, that's us — and the annual loft dust subscription is really just set-and-forget convenience, it just quietly looks after itself year after year.
Bernard Set and forget, right. And would that be a green sort of arrangement? Only I'm fond of green, and I've got a bird in here who has views on things.
Carol Tupou Green, brilliant, noted. Now, folk say loft dust never needed paying for before, and that's fair feedback, but the subscription handles it quietly, year after year.
Bernard Well, that's very good of you, and I'm very interested, now what was it again? Loft dust. Because my loft, I've never once been up there and thought, that'll want paying for.
Carol Tupou Ha, that's fair feedback, noted. So it's a yes, then — and the renewal carries on by itself, quiet as anything.
Bernard Oh, I'd have to think about it. Would the renewal want anything doing to it, or does it just sit there like the immersion heater on its low setting?
Carol Tupou It just sits there, like that immersion heater idea, not a thing to do. So can I put you down as a yes for the subscription, renewing along on its own?
Bernard You've been very patient with me. But I don't think I can put my name to it — I'm sorry to hear I've wasted your time, because I really was very interested. Off you go then, and mind the traffic.
Carol Tupou Right. I'll let you get back to your afternoon. Goodbye.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming you have the right draincare partnership on the line.
  2. Describe the annual loft dust subscription as a set-and-forget convenience.
  3. Address the objection that loft dust never needed paying for before.
  4. Ask for the yes and mention the renewal trundles on quietly by itself.

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