Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #165 · 2026-10-24

Dawn Gopal
of Petley Paving Services

a replacement for the meter cupboard that is not broken · needless replacement

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
34%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

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Share card for call 165: Dawn Gopal of Petley Paving Services, 15 minutes.

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The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

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The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no swap, colleague dispatched

“Bernard offered the caller tea and a look at his glasses; the caller offered him a newer cupboard for the one that works, then handed him off.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Dawn Gopal Good afternoon, this is Dawn Gopal at Petley Paving Services. We're ringing because we understand your meter cupboard is working perfectly well, and we'd like to talk about it.
Bernard Oh, the meter cupboard, yes — hold on, let me turn the radio down. There's a wasp in the kitchen window and I don't want to miss it. Now, what's this about the cupboard?
Dawn Gopal We hear you, and the wasp sounds like a whole situation. What the team and I are proposing is a brand-new meter cupboard to replace the one you already have, which as we said is working.
Bernard Well, that's very good of you. So it's a replacement for the working one — I've got that right? And would this new one need feeding at all, or is it the sort of thing that just sits there?
Dawn Gopal That's exactly right, and yes, it just sits there, no feeding required. I'll be quick — I know the obvious question is why bother, and the answer is simply that this one looks newer.
Bernard Ah, newer-looking. Well, that's a consideration, isn't it. My back step's lower than it looks, you see, so I'm careful about things that look like something they're not — is this cupboard that sort?
Dawn Gopal No tricks, I promise — it's a cupboard, nothing more. We'd love to know whether you'd like us to swap out the one that isn't broken anyway.
Bernard Well, I'd have to think about it. Could you hold on a moment while I find my glasses? They're somewhere by the telephone, I think. You've been very patient — would a cup of tea be any use to you at all?
Dawn Gopal They'd love a tea back at the office, but it doesn't travel well. While you're finding those, shall we say the team gets the paperwork ready to swap the cupboard anyway?
Bernard Paperwork, yes. Oh, I'm very interested, I am, but I'm a funny one for not signing a thing until I've had a proper look at it. And the bird's been quiet all afternoon, which isn't like her.
Dawn Gopal I'll get someone else to ring you. Goodbye.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming the customer's existing meter cupboard is, in fact, working fine.
  2. Pitch the new cupboard as a replacement for that perfectly functional cupboard.
  3. Address the obvious objection: yes, it works, but this one is newer-looking.
  4. Ask whether they would like the not-broken one swapped out anyway.

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