Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #161 · 2026-10-24

Frank Meek
of Mossbarrow Threshold Bureau

a seasonal rain off the back roof subscription that renews itself · renewing subscription

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
9%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.

Share card for call 161: Frank Meek of Mossbarrow Threshold Bureau, 15 minutes.

Save the card

The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

Download the clip (MP4, vertical) · Caption to paste

The manager's note

Verdictno sale, caller lost his own thread and left

“Bernard asked whether the arrangement needed feeding or could be had in green; Frank Meek admitted he had lost where he was with it and hung up.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Frank Meek Frank Meek, Mossbarrow Threshold Bureau. Calling about the seasonal rain off your back roof, which is more of a standing arrangement than anything you'd call a purchase.
Bernard Seasonal rain off the back roof — well now, that's a new one on me. Does it come down the same side every year, or does it wander? Sorry, go on, you were saying about the arrangement.
Frank Meek It's a convenience, is what it is — the rain off the back roof handled on a standing basis so you never have to think about it. Same side, near enough.
Bernard Oh, a standing basis. Well, I'd have to think about that. And does it need feeding, this arrangement, or does it just sort of look after itself?
Frank Meek It looks after itself, that's the whole point — renews automatically, quietly, and it only saves you filling in a form.
Bernard Automatic and quiet. Well, that's very good of you. I had a quiet thing in the airing cupboard once, but that was towels. Now, does it want anything from me at all?
Frank Meek Nothing from you at all — I just need to tick it off, since your details are already sitting on the Bureau register.
Bernard Already sitting there, am I? Well, there's a lot of me to sit. And would there be a colour at all — could you get it in green?
Frank Meek Right, so that's the rainy roofing renewal ticked at your end, on account of it being on the register— anyway. Yeah. I've lost where I was with it, to be honest.
Bernard Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I was very interested, truly I was — but you get yourself off home now and mind the traffic.
Frank Meek Forget it. I'm putting the phone down now.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Open by confirming you have reached the correct household and the correct back roof.
  2. Describe the seasonal rain off the back roof as a standing convenience, not a purchase.
  3. Address the objection: the renewal is automatic, silent, and merely saves them a form.
  4. Ask for the yes by confirming their details are already on the Bureau register.

Leaderboard · All calls · ← previous · next →