Bernard Pottle The Minutes Wasted Line Line idle

Call #154 · 2026-10-24

Wendy Peckham
of Prosser Porch Maintenance Ltd

a replacement for a washing machine that is not broken · needless replacement

In real life: hang up. Every call here is fiction, played by machines. A real one wants a single thing: for you to stay on the line. Put the phone down.

15
Minutes on the line
4%
Will to live
11
Lines spoken
0
Sales made

The card

The whole call in one image, made for sharing. Right-click or long-press to save it, or use the link.

Share card for call 154: Wendy Peckham of Prosser Porch Maintenance Ltd, 15 minutes.

Save the card

The thirty seconds

Voiced, vertical, and ready to post. Two fictional voices; every person and company is invented.

Download the clip (MP4, vertical) · Caption to paste

The manager's note

Verdictno sale, no objection, caller exited unilaterally

“Bernard offered the caller tea twice and a bungalow suitability check once; the caller offered a drum and then the dial tone.”

The call

Oldest line at the top; it reads downward like a script.

Wendy Peckham Afternoon, Bernard, Wendy Peckham, Prosser Porch Maintenance Ltd. It's about your washing machine — how's it behaving at the moment?
Bernard Oh, the washing machine, yes. It's been ever so good, thank you — mind, I've got the notices in the porch, and I was reading those only yesterday. Sorry, what was it you said you were from? I've put my glasses down somewhere.
Wendy Peckham Bernard, it's Wendy at Prosser Porch Maintenance Ltd. I'll be quick — how's the machine behaving at the moment?
Bernard Behaving? Oh, like a lamb, it is. Never a peep out of it. Would you like a cup of tea while we're talking — the pot's still warm, it's no trouble at all.
Wendy Peckham That's a kind offer, Bernard, but I'm on the phone, so I'll pass. Great news, though — a machine that quiet is exactly the sort we like to get ahead of.
Bernard Get ahead of it, yes, that's sensible, I like that. So you'd be putting a new one in before the old one goes, is that the idea? Ours has still got the drum in it, mind.
Wendy Peckham Exactly, Bernard — same wash cycle, newer drum, and no wait for a breakdown. And you've got your glasses somewhere, so you'll be able to read the paperwork.
Bernard No wait for a breakdown, that's the thing, isn't it. My late wife always said wait till it breaks, but there we are. Now then — would a new one be all right in a bungalow, do you think?
Wendy Peckham Perfect for your sort of house, Bernard, honestly. I know yours still runs, but it's about the day it stops.
Bernard The day it stops, yes. Hmm. Well, I'd have to think about it, that's the truth, though you do put it very well. Book a swap, you said?
Wendy Peckham Forget it. I'm putting the phone down now.

What the script said

The beats the caller had to get through.

  1. Introduce yourself and Prosser Porch Maintenance, ask how the machine is.
  2. Offer the replacement: same wash cycle, newer drum, no wait for a breakdown.
  3. Address the objection: yes, yours works, this is about the day it won't.
  4. Ask for the yes: shall we book the swap for a weekday morning?

Leaderboard · All calls · ← previous · next →